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Posts Tagged ‘victims’

New Ways Of Responding To Bullies

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

Welcome.

We are glad you are choosing to spend your precious time
with CyberBullyingHelp.com We will bring you tips,advice and
encouragement. We want to be on your support team.

Empower Yourself and Your Children

Next time you are watching cartoons or a video with your kids
have them monitor the body language. You may need to turn
off the sound so you concentrate on non-verbal communication.

Help them to try different body language so they look more confident
and sure of themselves. Have them put their shoulders back, hands
at sides (not crossed as that indicates defiance) open smile and a
confident walk.

You will find more information on this subject in an article I wrote on
body language.


Victims Look Afraid

Teach your children to imagine themselves inside a protective bubble
that bounces off the bullies words. This will give them some control
in a situation where they may feel helpless.

When choosing a victim or target, bullies typically target children or teens
who have few or no friends. Make sure your children have chances to
make friends away from where the bullying takes place.

Claim your free e-course on social skills today at http://www.TheLeftOutChild.com

When Should Adults Step In?

If bullying is persistent, or your child is injured, take action. If
bullying happens at school, take the matter up with a suitable
teacher and work upward until the matter is taken seriously
and addressed. Keep written records which may be used as
evidence.

But remember, You are an adult, so don’t try to bully the
other child or the school. You want to follow the wishes of
your child before barging in to do battle.

You will be glad you did.

Judy H. Wright

Judy Helm Wright is a parent educator and child advocate

Family relationship author and speaker
2400 West Central, Missoula, MT 59801 USA

PS. Teach social skills that will help your child navigate the
playground politics. Claim your free e-course today

Bullies in School, Neighborhood and Work Place

Friday, June 4th, 2010

Welcome to our community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all.

Bullying can inflict physical and emotional harm to the victims or targets who did nothing to deserve the demeaning behavior. Bullying by direct or indirect methods can bring social embarrassment, humiliation and social isolation.

Being a Target of a Bully

Being a victim or target of a playground, workplace or neighborhood bully can have harmful consequences which can impact people seriously for the the rest of their lives. Knowing that they may be attacked or singled out for harassment, many victims become isolated and preoccupied with the task of avoiding situations where they will be open to the bully.

There are two types of targets that bullies look for:

  1. Passive victims.  Passive victims tend to be either physically weaker, equipped with fewer social skills and have less of a support group.  This group tends to be more anxious and turned inward, both mentally and with body language. Bullies tend to justify picking on the passive victim because they feel they will not be caught and that “They deserved it because they were trying to hide.”  An example of this in the workplace could be a manager  stealing the work of a co-worker and putting his/her name on it. Thus taking credit knowing that they will get away with it because of the unequal division of power.
  2. Provocative victims. These are the people who are in the spotlight and the bully wants to “Take them down a peg or two.” Provocative targets may be those who have poor social skills and impulse control and so tend to irritate or annoy others with their behaviors.  Bullies tend to find pleasure in provoking situations which will cast the target in a bad light. An example of this is a neighbor who starts rumors about a home owner who has the biggest display of lawn ornaments.

Bullying is About Power

In a conflict, both sides have equal power to resolve the problem.  Bullying is an intentional, one-sided use of power and mean spirit to control another.   If you or a friend feels that you are the target or victim of either a person or group, then please do not feel ashamed or that you did anything to bring on that kind of trauma.  Bullies are bullies, whether they are on school grounds, work places or in our neighborhoods.  They are looking for victims.  If you were not there, they would find someone else.

The bully is the problem not you.  It is not your fault.

Empower yourself and others.  I have confidence in you.

Wishing you a life filled with kindness and respect,

Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and speaker

2400 West Central, Missoula, MT 59801  USA

Connect on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/judyhwright