Ways to Raise Confident and Assertive Children

from Podcast by Judy Helm Wright

When children learn to be compassionate, caring and learn they may not be the centre of universe they become more confident. They need to realize that they are an important part of the earth, but it does not revolve around them.

Confidence and Self-Esteem is not something children receive at birth. Parents and caring adults need to model respect and how to set boundaries in order to teach these qualities.

When we teach our children to give service, and care about people outside the family unit it also teaches them empathy. Service teaches them about diversity and to go outside their comfort zone. Children should be taught that the bedrock of civilization is respect for others, and gives the child a connection to the world around them and a stronger connection to the family.

Growing up we taught our children that before they turned 16 years of age they had to put in 60 hours of Community Service. The idea behind this was to teach them that there are other people and situations in their community which need attention., and helped them to focus some of their energy on the community around them, instead of just on themselves.

There are literally thousands of techniques to teach children how to be more confident. One of my favourites is to read with children.

By reading with children we can help expand their way of thinking beyond their small world. Stories can teach them how to be empathetic and show them that there are different types of people and lifestyles in the world. It can take them out of their comfort zone, which helps them to become more confident.

When children feel safe and secure they feel more confident. The feeling of safety is what every human and animal needs to feel confident. When one person acts with compassion, it can have a ripple effect. Others see what they are doing and find ways they can help as well. It spurs others on to think about ways they can give back to their community.

By completing tasks which make us uncomfortable we learn the we can do anything. It helps us to become compassionate, caring and self sufficient confident people!

For more information visit www.confidenceclues.com

Recognizing the Six Types of Aggressive Bullies:

Are You a Victim?

Bullying can be described as aggressive behaviour that is intentional and involves an imbalance of power or strength. Often patterns of abusive behaviour becomes evident over time. Victims or targets sometimes downplay the violence and damage to their self esteem, hoping it will just go away or at least get better with time. Bullying and aggressive action rarely stop without some sort of intervention.

Bullying is not strictly a behaviour of the young and not all bullying involves fighting.

Bullying, in all forms, is an attempt to steal power from someone else thus empowering the bully. There is no single reason why some people attempt to take advantage of others, but those who intimidate and manipulate often use aggressive tactics.

There doesn’t appear to be a single type of person become the target of bullies or the victims of their aggressive attacks. However, you may want to check out the six types of bullies and their methods of intimidation to see if you can recognize when and if you have been the victim of a bully.

The following are the most common traits of bullies:

The Physical Bully

• hits, kicks, pushes, spits, and/or intimidates
• steals possessions
• forces others do things they don’t want to do themselves

The Verbal Bully

• engages in name calling, humiliating, teasing, and insulting
• uses sarcasm and pointed jokes to point out flaws in their targets personality
• makes degrading comments about victims dress or appearance

The Non-Verbal Bully

• mimics physical activity and/or disabilities of others
• makes offensive gestures and facial expressions
• turns their head or body away when victim is speaking (giving the cold shoulder)
• uses threatening body language (such as standing in the victims personal space, and using postures that make the themselves look physically larger than their victim)

The Social Bully

• refuses to talk or acknowledge their victim
• spreads rumours or innuendoes about others
• makes someone behave or dress in a manner that bully determines
• invites others to an event or party in front of victim, while excluding the victim
• talks directly to the victim about a social event they have been excluded from

The Sexual Bully

• engages in unwanted physical contact
• makes vulgar remarks and gestures toward others
• calls others by sexual names or remarking on sexual orientation
• takes photos or videos of their victim in a compromising situation and threatens to share it
• manipulates situations to gain sexual favours

The Cyber-Bully or Technological Bully

• sends mean, vulgar or threatening messages using cell phones or through text and instant messaging
• texts private messages to others not sent directly to (the victim????)
• sends photos or sexually suggestive photos without permission.
• pretends to be someone else to make their victim look bad
• intentionally excludes someone from an online group
• posts derogatory or inflammatory messages on social media sites (ie: Facebook, Youtube, and MySpace)
• impersonates people through instant messaging to gain information or humiliate

Hold Bullies Accountable

While researching my latest book on cyber-bullying, I have found bullies almost never stop their aggressive and abusive behavior without intervention.

Bullies DO NOT stop bullying; they just get bigger and more devious in their approach.

Empower Yourself

If you recognize that you have been bullied in the past, empower yourself now. Set boundaries and become more assertive in your interpersonal relationships. Claim your free eBook on learning to speak up and say what you want.  Find it at http://www.UseEncouragingWords.com You will be glad you did.

You can do it, I have confidence in you.