Ways to Raise Confident and Assertive Children

from Podcast by Judy Helm Wright

When children learn to be compassionate, caring and learn they may not be the centre of universe they become more confident. They need to realize that they are an important part of the earth, but it does not revolve around them.

Confidence and Self-Esteem is not something children receive at birth. Parents and caring adults need to model respect and how to set boundaries in order to teach these qualities.

When we teach our children to give service, and care about people outside the family unit it also teaches them empathy. Service teaches them about diversity and to go outside their comfort zone. Children should be taught that the bedrock of civilization is respect for others, and gives the child a connection to the world around them and a stronger connection to the family.

Growing up we taught our children that before they turned 16 years of age they had to put in 60 hours of Community Service. The idea behind this was to teach them that there are other people and situations in their community which need attention., and helped them to focus some of their energy on the community around them, instead of just on themselves.

There are literally thousands of techniques to teach children how to be more confident. One of my favourites is to read with children.

By reading with children we can help expand their way of thinking beyond their small world. Stories can teach them how to be empathetic and show them that there are different types of people and lifestyles in the world. It can take them out of their comfort zone, which helps them to become more confident.

When children feel safe and secure they feel more confident. The feeling of safety is what every human and animal needs to feel confident. When one person acts with compassion, it can have a ripple effect. Others see what they are doing and find ways they can help as well. It spurs others on to think about ways they can give back to their community.

By completing tasks which make us uncomfortable we learn the we can do anything. It helps us to become compassionate, caring and self sufficient confident people!

For more information visit www.confidenceclues.com

Welcome to our community of kind, thoughtful people who want to raise our children to have respect for all

Do you remember your own childhood? Did your siblings tease or taunt you? Did you pick on others who were smaller or less powerful than you were? Was it a chore to go to recess for fear of being called mean names or excluded from games? Were others in your class mean or unkind to you because of something that you could not help?  Do you still carry those scars with you as an adult?

Bullying, intimidation and inter-personal conflict are encountered by all of us at one time or another during our lives. If we were lucky, we had caring adults who helped us problem solve and recognize that the teasing had little to do with us and more with the thought process of the bully.

Bullying is about Power

Bullying is deliberate psychological, emotional and/or physical harassment of a person.  It can be one bully to one target, as in families. Or it can be group or gang oriented. Many children engage in bullying every day.  Even though each child and circumstance is unique, those who bully or demean others in order to gain power do share some common characteristics.

• Likes to make fun of others
• Prone to violence when  things don’t go their way
• Aggressive with adults and siblings
• Enjoys extremely physical contact activities
• Has a manipulative personality
• Likes to blame others
• Frequently bends the rules
• Enjoys the power of being a leader and having followers
• Lacks impulse control

Why Do Some Kids Bully and Some Don’t?

When I was interviewing kids about friendship for my book The Left Out Child it was very obvious that there is a shorthand on the playground.  Everyone knows who is in the popular group, the jocks, the brains and the weird ones.  There is constant jockeying for position to be included and involved with the group. There is a hunger for acceptance and approval in every level, including home.

Those kids who do not give in to the temptation to tease or threaten others have developed social skills and have learned to find other ways to fit in and get along.

Adults Need to Teach and Model Respect

Children need to be shown other methods of solving problems by the important adults in their lives. Children see family and adult dynamics as how they should act in social situations. It will take a village to teach and show respect and kindness to one another.

We can do it. The world is counting on the next generation to be more peaceful than the last.