Effects of Girls Who Bully Other Girls

Bullying can take many different forms especially in a society that values technology so highly. Text bullying and online bullies are quite common. In particular, a girl bullying victims will often be much more subtle in the tactics used.

Queen Bees and Wanna Bees

Girls will usually form groups and use these to their advantage, encouraging a group to gang up on one victim. The Queen Bee is the leader and holds the keys of power to the clique. It is she who dictates what to wear, how to talk, walk and befriend.

The Wanna Bees, the other girls in the clique are in fear of disappointing the leader of the pack.  They are eager to share the power and gain favor in the eyes of the other mean girls in the group.

All girls want to belong to a social group and have friends. Queen Bees, the leader of a clique, can decide their fate in school. It is all about power.

Effects of Cyberbullying

Because students prefer to use phones for texting rather than talking, many texts and messages fly through cyber air about who is in and who is out.

One seventh grade girl told me recently, “None of our fights were face to face, we were too afraid the teacher would catch us. It is easier to fight online, because you feel more powerful. You can also be as mean as you want to on FaceBook. It is kind of fun to “dis” somebody.”

Cyberdramas of Girls

If there is a conflict between teenage couples, surprisingly, the girls will blame the girl and want to “punish her.”  In the Phoebe Prince suicide in Massachusetts, even though  the boy and girl were no longer dating, when he started dating Phoebe, she was bullied and attacked.

The groups will usually pick and choose their members and exclude others, sometimes completely at random.

While it is normal for both girls and boys to form social groups and strong bonds that naturally exclude others, it becomes bullying when power plays over individuals or other groups are involved.

Questions on Girls and Cyberbullying – We welcome comments

• Why do you think girls turn against each other over the attention of a boy?
• Do all cultures have cliques of girls?
• Do you remember a Queen Bee from middle school?
• Why do you think it is important for a young girl to fit into a group?
• Is cyberbullying more dangerous than face-to-face bullying?

How To Recognize Girl Bullying

The traditional tough guy bully who stands on the corner frisking you for your lunch money is not your typical bully anymore. Recently we have seen a trend in girl bullying that is disturbing to say the least. You used to see girls that were mean to each other, by excluding from a group or sharing gossip, but rarely involved physically violence. Now online communication allows those who tend to be cruel or unkind to be take those negative traits to the extreme.

Online Community Filled With Opportunity

Physical violence breaks out more and more often in our schools and the places where young people gather. This includes the internet.

Online bullying and harassment can follow you everywhere you go 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.

Cyber and text bullying between women is not unheard of. Cruel remarks, off color photos, and other forms of torture are often seen over the internet and on cell phones.

Many Tweens, Teens and Adults Don’t Recognize Boundaries

It may be that what is intended as a joke or sarcastic remark comes across as threatening to the receiver of the message.  Without the filter of  body language, the sender may cross boundaries of respect and privacy without meaning to. What started out as innocent banter may be construed as emotional bullying.

These days bullying is taken very seriously. Most schools, youth groups and churches have a zero tolerance, anti bullying policy when it comes to this behavior. Make sure you and your family know  and understand the policy.  I encourage you to have open and non judgmental conversations about the power of words. It is also a good idea to always make sure your child knows that they can come to you if someone is harassing them.

Is Your Teen Being Bullied

There are many ways to tell if your teen is being bullied. Usually drastic changes in behavior are really good signs that you are facing a bully. The signs also include panic attacks, depression, and loss of interest in social activities.

Many times your teen might avoid using the internet or their cell phone when a bully is harassing them. The internet and cell phones are powerful tools for bullies to use to get to their victims. The person being bullied often feels as if they cannot escape the bully and therefore feelings of helplessness or hopelessness can grow.

If you notice any of these changes in your child try and speak with them about it. Make sure that they understand that bullying is illegal, dangerous, and that there are ways to stop or avoid it. Give them the tools to be able to deal with a bully.

Internet Safety

You will want to check out the excellent information at http://cyberbullyinghelp.com/r/101safetytips