Ways to Raise Confident and Assertive Children

from Podcast by Judy Helm Wright

When children learn to be compassionate, caring and learn they may not be the centre of universe they become more confident. They need to realize that they are an important part of the earth, but it does not revolve around them.

Confidence and Self-Esteem is not something children receive at birth. Parents and caring adults need to model respect and how to set boundaries in order to teach these qualities.

When we teach our children to give service, and care about people outside the family unit it also teaches them empathy. Service teaches them about diversity and to go outside their comfort zone. Children should be taught that the bedrock of civilization is respect for others, and gives the child a connection to the world around them and a stronger connection to the family.

Growing up we taught our children that before they turned 16 years of age they had to put in 60 hours of Community Service. The idea behind this was to teach them that there are other people and situations in their community which need attention., and helped them to focus some of their energy on the community around them, instead of just on themselves.

There are literally thousands of techniques to teach children how to be more confident. One of my favourites is to read with children.

By reading with children we can help expand their way of thinking beyond their small world. Stories can teach them how to be empathetic and show them that there are different types of people and lifestyles in the world. It can take them out of their comfort zone, which helps them to become more confident.

When children feel safe and secure they feel more confident. The feeling of safety is what every human and animal needs to feel confident. When one person acts with compassion, it can have a ripple effect. Others see what they are doing and find ways they can help as well. It spurs others on to think about ways they can give back to their community.

By completing tasks which make us uncomfortable we learn the we can do anything. It helps us to become compassionate, caring and self sufficient confident people!

For more information visit www.confidenceclues.com

Welcome to our community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all,

Conflict is good. It really is. Conflict teaches us about working with all kinds of people and situations and finding solutions and  a resolution that is reasonably fair to all.

Many of us have been taught that a conflict means a fight.  A fight usually means a winner and a loser.  If we don’t feel that we will be the winner, then it is best to stay out of the way of someone who disagrees with us.  We may feel that conflict should be avoided because it will only produce bad feelings and violent reactions.  but conflict has the potential and power to produce growth, adventure,  and clear boundaries of behavior.

Assertive Communication is Key to Manage Conflict

Setting boundaries and working towards a respectful resolution is what we do when we care about ourselves and others.

Stating what your needs and boundaries are allows the other person to be more respectful.

If we did not care about the people in our relationships we would not bother with the energy to disagree.  We will either become resentful or end the relationship. By using assertive communication skills and treating others as we would like to be treated, we have the opportunity to resolve conflict in a more productive way.

Some techniques of being assertive that I have found to be effective is to;

• Talk in short sentences “I hear what you have said. I think there is a misunderstanding.”
• Deepen your voice and slow down your speech.  We tend to become more shrill when excited and sends signal we are emotionally vulnerable.
• Be firm, kind and consistent in what you want to happen “I recognize it will take time to accomplish the assignment, but it needs to be done by five o’clock.” Then repeat if necessary.
• Do not interrupt or answer for the other person. After you have stated what you want to have happen and asked for feedback, be silent.

Opposite of Love Is Not Hate–But Indifference

Conflict with others is a normal part of our life.  However, we can learn to speak in an assertive and respectful tone that will help discover a fair solution. When we care enough about ourselves and the ones we share relationship with, we will want to learn techniques that will make getting along easier and more pleasant for everyone involved.

Learning to solve conflicts with assertive communication styles will enhance your life.  You can do it.  I have confidence in you.

Your friend,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and speaker