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Posts Tagged ‘anti bullying policy’

Parenting In Social Media Age- Keep Kids Safe Online (Guest Expert)

Friday, December 6th, 2019

technologysonParenting has changed drastically in the past decade. Instead of dinner bells ringing children home, they now have cell phones. Social media has become an obsession and a favorite past time. With the changes in technology, changes in parenting become necessary.

You can keep your child safe in the social media age with a few tips to help you stay up to speed with today’s technology and your child’s plugged-in world.

Learn the Technology

First and foremost, for parents to be able to help, it is important that they understand how technology works and accept that technology is a big part of young people’s lives, says Silje Vallestad, CEO and founder of Bipper, a mobile safety app company. As cyber bullying situations continue to increase, parents must know how to operate and monitor apps, social media networks and various technology to ensure that their children are acting appropriately and that they are treated respectfully in what is a 24/7 public environment.

“For kids today, being stripped of their access to the social communities and technology in general is considered so bad that they won’t ask for help or tell parents about negative experiences,” says Vallestad. “Parents need to understand that there is a difference between the digital childhood of kids today and their own upbringing, and that access to technology is as important as access to paper and pens.”

Although social media is extremely important to your child, it doesn’t mean they should have full reign of the technology. “Parents should never grant kids access to technology without guiding them in the world of technology and to be able to guide their kids, they need to understand technology and online services,” says Vallestad. “I believe in parents spending time educating themselves, combined with frequent conversations between parent and child about the use of technology in general and use of specific services in particular.”

Use Technology to Bond with Your Child

Monitoring your child’s social media use does not have to be a negative experience, wherein you are acting the part of a spy. Use technology as an opportunity to learn something new from your children and brush up on your own skills. Vallestad, the mother of three kids all using technology, says she uses mobile app alerts that provide information on which social media applications her children are downloading.

“When I see that they have installed apps I either don’t know much about or that I’m worried about (such as SnapChat or Instagram), I make a point of having a good conversation about these services,” she says. “They teach me a lot about technology and the services while we talk about how things can be used for good or bad.”

These conversations can help to create trust between a parent and a child and allow opportunities to talk about how technology can be used to harm others and how to react in those situations. “With our frequent talks on tech, where I show that I’m both interested and involved in their digital lives and also allow them to use technology, I believe we have fostered an atmosphere where they will feel safe to tell me if something bad is happening,” says Vallestad.

Have a Plan of Action

As you are learning the technology, it’s important to remember the top three actions to take when your child is engaged in social media, according to Vallestad.

  • Technology is Important to Your Child: Understand that your kids need to use technology and be part of the online communities where their peers are. It’s part of their lives and if you remove it, you will probably create a growing gap between you and your child instead of fostering an atmosphere of dialogue.
  • Open Conversations are Necessary: Engage in open and trusting conversations with your kids about technology. Let them tell you, show you and teach you. Reacting with anger or shock to things you might see could result in your kids closing down conversations. Try to stay calm and ask questions. Together, you can agree on rules. Sometimes you both may come to the conclusion that a particular service is not ok. Other times, it is ok but you may require that you will be a friend or follower.
  • Research is Key: Do your own research on services and use that research to ask your kids the right questions. However, don’t automatically assume that your kids are using a questionable service in a wrong way simply because there is a lot of information online about that service being used negatively. Do keep an open eye and make sure you are neither naïve nor ignorant about social media.

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What Is Cyber Bullying & Helping The Bystander To Bullying

Friday, October 11th, 2019

What is Cyber Bullying?

According to, cyber bullying is bullying that happens using the internet or electronic technology. Just like regular bullying, cyber bullying involves an aggressive act performed by a person that has (or that is perceived to have) more power toward a person that has (or that is perceived to have) less power. Bullying is repetitive and purposeful. It can include name calling, threats to cause harm and spreading rumors.

What Are Schools Doing to Prevent Bullying?

Nearly all schools take some measure to educate students about bullying and to prevent them from bullying their peers. Teachers talk about bullying in students’ health classes. Schools hold special programs and assemblies to educate students about the importance of not bullying. It all goes to enforce to students that bullying is wrong, hurtful and unacceptable. But if students know these things, why does it still happen?

Despite all the education that students receive about bullying, bullying still exists both at school and online. While anti-bullying measures demonstrate the school’s best intentions, The Total Bully Solution points out that too often school’s best efforts frequently don’t work. There are several reasons why people continue to bully when they know it is wrong. There are also several reasons why other students witnessing the bullying do not put a stop to it.

What is the Bystander Effect?

The bystander effect is what happens when people do not step in to help when they see another person being bullied or being placed in some type of danger. Named after the infamous stabbing of Kitty Genovese in 1964, the term “the bystander effect” refers to the tendency of people to not help in an emergency situation when other people are present.

According to social experiments done by Bibb Latané and John Darley, if one person witnesses an emergency situation where someone needs assistance, they are likely to help. They feel responsible for helping because they know if they do not help, no one else is around to do so.


Something strange happens when a group of people watch an emergency take place, however. Instead of rushing to help, people look at those around them to gauge their reactions. If no one else reacts, people rationalize not helping by saying that it is socially acceptable to not help or that someone else will help. They do not feel so responsible.

How Does the Bystander Effect Affect People who Witness Cyber Bullying?

People who witness cyber bullying online know that they are not the only people to see it. They feel removed from the situation and they figure that because so many people see the bullying taking place, they are not personally responsible for doing something to stop it. As a result, cyber bullies are able to continually harass their victims with no repercussions because no one intervenes. While it would be helpful if internet service providers were able to monitor online bullying, the best bully prevention techniques start at home.

How Can People Overcome the Bystander Effect?

The best way to overcome the bystander effect is to educate people about it. If people realize that they are in a large group of people who are not likely to help, they will be motivated to be the person that does help.


Nikki Longo is a writer based off the east coast. When she’s not writing at the desk that overlooks the beautiful tree in her backyard she can be found playing with her dogs or cooking up a new recipe. Feel free to reach out to her at

Keep Kids Safe on Internet- Protect Them From Cyberbullies

Friday, March 22nd, 2019

As the two dimensional world envelopes more and more of our lives, the ability to use the Internet wisely can hold the key to our, and our children’s success in life. There are over 2.4 billion people that use the Internet today-an increase of over 500 percent according to, and that number is going to continue to grow as the Internet becomes an increasingly central force in our lives, interactions, and commerce.

Like any life-changing technology, the information super highway can be used for as much good as it can bad, it’s up to the user to dictate how they spend their time, and teach and inspire others. The future might just depend on our ability to discern how we teach our children to spend their time online.

Make Sure There’s a Return on What You Learn

Unlike other major technological advancements, surfing the Internet doesn’t direct us towards progress on an individual level (the plow helps us cultivate food, factory machines directly produce products, etc…). Unlike the invention of the wheel, sitting in a chair and browsing Facebook for four hours doesn’t get us anywhere. It’s up to us to seek out useful information online and apply it to our lives instead of letting ourselves and our children waste time getting sucked into a vapid hole.

Instead of wasting time lusting after cars you can’t afford, or lamenting how thick your favorite celebrity’s hair is, the Internet can also be used just as easily to teach yourself a new language, or become an expert in bug collecting. Using this general rule of thumb – browsing is for improving skills to apply to life – is integral to teaching your little ones how to inspire themselves, build their abilities, and succeed in life.

The Dangers of Strangers

Unfortunately, the Internet is also a mecca for creative thieves and swindlers, and teaching your children about keeping themselves safe online is as important as teaching them not to get into a strangers car. Identity thieves know the best ways to target and extrapolate personal information from adults, but they’re becoming more and more focused on children. A child’s social security number is much less likely to have a history of bankruptcy and bad credit, and most of us never even think to check our toddler’s credit score- it’s the perfect storm.

As your children reach the age of Internet exploration, teaching them to keep their personal information secret, and showing them how to spot predators is an absolute must. In the mean time, checking out ID theft protection services doesn’t hurt either.

Don’t Be a Click-ler Stickler

Altruism is one of the distinct aspects that separates people from animals, and makes us awesome. The Internet has the ability to inflate our sense of altruism without actually accomplishing anything. How many times have you “clicked” on a petition or felt good about “liking” a page that wants to end world hunger? Unfortunately, clicking and liking doesn’t apply to much of anything in the real world. If we want our children to grow up to be the type of people that can change the world, then it’s imperative we drill them with the difference between action and sentiment, and make it clear that all the clicks and likes in the world won’t clean up an oil spill or fix the ozone.

Parents, it is up to us to set the stage for the future of the world, and teaching our kids how to use the Internet and protect themselves from its dangers is, perhaps, the best way to prepare them to move mountains, save rain-forests, and keep themselves and their future families safe.

Protect your children from being bullied online. Information on how text bullying works.

Protect your children from being bullied online. Information on how text bullying works.

How To Protect Your Child From Cyber Bullying Using Mobile Monitoring Applications?

Monday, August 20th, 2012

How To Protect Your Child From Cyber Bullying Using Mobile Monitoring Applications?

Mobile usage is increasing day by day and it has become an indispensable device. The additional uses of a mobile phone as a camera, a music player, a laptop to access mails and internet has resulted in its widespread usage. Children too have not been spared from being bitten by the mobile phone bug. The benefits are far surpassed by the crimes associated with children using mobile phones.

Cyber bullying is rampant in the cyber world.

Children unknowingly fall victims to such abuse through visiting prohibited sites and social networking sites. There have been many instances where children were lured through answering missed calls from unknown numbers and subjected to sexual harassment.

Hence, it is important for parents to protect their children from becoming victims of cyber abuse. This can be achieved by installing mobile monitoring applications like Mobile Spy on your child’s phone.

Software easy to install to protect your child

It is very easy to install such software on your child’s phone. Once installed, the data from the mobile phone is uploaded to your user account, which is created at the time of purchasing the monitoring application. All activities of the phone can then be viewed remotely through the user account. Some of the monitoring application features that help to protect your child from cyber abuse are:

Text bullying is a concern for many kids and their parents. Learn to monitor electronic devices your kids use and facts about internet safety.

  • Monitoring the call history: The monitoring application records details of all incoming and outgoing calls. The time and duration along with the numbers are also recorded. By reviewing the call log, the parent can know the child’s contacts, whether they are good or bad.
  • Call recording: most of the monitoring applications have the call recording facility whereby you can actually listen to the conversation. Even if the child is scared to report the abuse, it is easy to track the caller and nail him with proof of the conversation.
  • Internet History: A record of all the websites visited by the child can be known. The entire web history is recorded even if the child erases the history on the mobile. It is thus possible to know if the child has viewed any inappropriate material.
  • Record of chats and IM messages: With the help of the monitoring spyware, you can view the full contents of the chat windows and SMS messages. By keeping a tab on chats, it is easy to monitor contacts with strangers who may turn out to be pedophiles.
  • E mail log: A detail of every email that has been sent or received through the target mobile phone is recorded, despite the child deleting the messages. You can monitor the child and his contact by reviewing the mail contents.
  • GPS tracking: With this device, it is easy to locate your child. In the unfortunate event of kidnapping or the child getting lost, the GPS device will come to the rescue.
  • Video and Picture log: A parent can view all the photos and videos on the child’s phone. There may be instances when the child may be blackmailed through pornographic content like nude photos or bathroom videos. The abuser would demand undue favors from the child by threatening to expose them on the web. Any child would be scared to report such abuse and give in to the demands. Installation of the software protects the child by exposing such criminals.

This is a guest post from my friend and colleague Sharon Stouffer.  She shares my concerns about finding help for children who are being cyber-bullied.   Her contact information is below.  Please be sure to claim your free report on resources for parents and teachers.  You will find it at

Sharon Stouffer is passionate about Mobile Technology and Applications. Please visit her website about Cell Phone Spy software to follow her updates.

Taunting, Teasing and Traumatic Bullying

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

Taunting, Teasing and Traumatic

Thousands of children go to school every day full of fear.

They are the targets of bullies whose intended goal is to make their lives miserable. Whether the bullying consists of mental abuse like taunting and teasing or more outwardly acts of physical abuse, most bullies like to have an audience for their ruthless activities.

Their misery and loss of self esteem is often further compounded by the bystander bully, a witness who does nothing to intervene.

Many children are afraid to go to school because of teasing, taunting and bullying.

Without realizing it, those who idly watch can become victims themselves.

Bystander and Witness to The Crime

Whether or not they actually support and encourage the events or simply watch, the bystanders and witnesses are participants.

In many cases, the participation is involuntary and they can become victims too.

Bystanders can make a significant difference in exposing and stopping aggressive acts. However, children will understandably have real fears about interfering with bullies. They might be afraid of embarrassment in front of their peers or of being alienated from social groups. Of course, they may have a good reason to dread becoming a target themselves.

Bystanders Who Do Not Speak Up

As a result, those who witness trauma can suffer as much as the obvious victim from similar anxieties, depression and mental anguish. They will frequent want to be able to stop what is going on, but lack the skills or courage to do so.

They can develop overwhelming guilt and stress from not taking action to end something they know is wrong. It is not unusual to see this stress manifest itself in physical disorders like ulcers or chronic headaches.

Anti Bullying Programs Teach Skills

For this reason, children need be taught and empowered to become involved in stopping these types of actions. They should be instructed in ways they can quietly notify adults to expose those who engage in abusive behavior. They need to know that their best course of action is to seek out someone who can stop the physical and emotional pain.

The whole school, church or organization needs to adopt a policy of respect for all. Empathy is a character trait that should be modeled and taught by adults. Positive social skills need to be encouraged in order for them to become automatic action and a habit for life.

Regardless of whether a student joins in or simply observes, they are involved nonetheless. The bystander bully not only perpetuates unacceptable behavior, but can run the risk of unwittingly being added to the list of those who are abused.

Questions To Think About

  1. 1. Have you ever been a witness to someone bullying someone else and not spoken up because you were afraid?
  2. 2. Later when you had a chance to reflect on the situation, did you wish you had done something to help the victim?
  3. 3. What would you do if you saw a friend being bullied?
  4. 4. What would you do if it was a stranger?
  5. 5. Do you know that if you show signs of compassion or assistance for the victim, the trauma is lessened?

It is not easy to step up when someone is being bullied, but wouldn’t you want someone to come to your assistance if you were being hurt?

You can do it. I have confidence in you.

Victims, Bullies and Bystanders Are Harmed By Violence In Schools

Monday, August 9th, 2010

Victims, Bullies and Bystanders Are Harmed By Violence In Schools

Studies have shown that if those who tend to belittle or pick on others are taught basic communication skills and conflict management when young, lead more successful lives. Many children honestly do not know what is right and what is wrong in relationships. Respect for others must be taught and modeled for  children by caring adults in their lives.

The longer the abuse goes on, the greater the trauma and emotional stress continues not only for the victim, but the bystanders and the bully.

Children need to feel safe in school. They also need to be taught to respect the rights of others. Bullying hurts everyone involved.

Victims of Bullies

If a situation such as this is not recognized and cared for, the bullied child may become extremely depressed, and develop issues which could effect them for the rest of their lives. Low self esteem, distrust, lack of confidence, fear, anger, resentment, hopelessness, and a loss of interest in school, activities, and friends are common results.

Bystander or Witness

Bystanders or a witness to a traumatic event are frequently bothered by nightmares, flashbacks, lack of confidence and feeling ashamed or powerless. This may be a pivotal turning point in their maturity, helping them decide next time they will speak up or get help or the reverse side to make a decision to step away from all confrontations and not get involved at all.

Bully or Bullies

Bullies who get away with traumatizing others, develop a warped sense of justice. They begin to feel invincible and that they can use violence to get what they want in life. Without intervention, they may very well think it is normal to cross personal boundaries to harm others and to feel “entitled” to be mean to others.

Bullies do not outgrow the tendency to bully.  They simply grow bigger and learn to do it in more subtle ways.  They become the abusive husband, boss or neighbor.  It is a service to them and the people in their lives, to teach them respect and tolerance.

Bullying  Programs in Schools

Teachers should work to know each of their students and recognize any unusual symptoms or behaviors. Likewise, students should be educated on the matter of bullying and encouraged to seek the help of an adult when it is going one. There are usually many bystanders when one is being bullied, and if those bystanders could gather up the courage to take a stand, they could easily overrun the bullies in sheer numbers. Children need to be taught that bullying is essentially a whole school problem, and they need to take it seriously.

You will want to claim your free report at

Please leave comments and share your thoughts below.  I care about you and the children you work with.

PS: Don’t forget Judy H Wright is available for keynote speeches. Recommend her to your program director.  You will be glad you did. Phone 406-549-9813 today.

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Girl Bullies – International Problem

Sunday, August 8th, 2010

What Is Girl Bullying And How Can You Help

Girls bullying is a huge problem in and out of our schools and society today. More and more we are seeing violence by girls as well as against girls. This problem of “mean girls who form cliques or gangs” is international in nature.

Bullying, teasing, taunting and threatening does not always have to be physical nor does it have to take place in school. Many shopping malls are gathering places for bullies and gangs. Cyber bullying is extremely prevalent today and can be accomplished by texting and posting on social media groups.

Definition of Bullying

Bullying off line or electronically is an imbalance of power. It includes the process of intimidating or mistreating somebody weaker

Online bullies have become an international problem. Girls are more likely to send embarrasing and humilating text messages than boys. If a boy breaks up with a girl, it is the girl who is blamed and taunted by other girls.

or in a more vulnerable situation.  It can include harassment, maltreatment, singling out or exclusion as well as other forms of discrimination.

What Can Parent Do

There are a few things that you can do to help your daughter if you suspect she is being bullied

The first thing that you can do as a parent is to make sure that your daughter knows that you are there for her. It does not hurt to state that fact occasionally even if you do not suspect bullying. Knowing that you will communicate and listen without judgment or rushing in to solve her problems creates an atmosphere where she will use you as a sounding board.

You should also be aware of the schools policy on bullying and cyber bullying. This can be as simple as reading the handbook that the school sends home with your child. Make sure your daughter is also aware of it. Encourage open conversation and ask her to read the policy. It helps to know that there are solutions to every problem. It just takes some creative thinking to problem-solve..

Violence Does Not Solve Violence

Encourage her to ignore the bullying if possible. Many times a victim will get fed up and retaliate after a prolong period of being bullied, and then will be the one accused of fighting or being a bully.

You may want to gently ask the lunch aide or teacher what they have observed.  Make sure you are not making a mountain out of a molehill.  It may be age appropriate teasing and joking around.  If not, then do take steps to confront the issue.

If you suspect your daughter is being cyber bullied check. Ask to look at her email or text messages. This is an extreme step but catching cyber bullying early may be a key step. Try to do this in a way that is non-threatening to your daughter.

Internet Safety

If you suspect your child is being bullied keep the evidence you will need it if it goes to court. Make sure that your child is not in any physical or emotional danger by bringing it to the authority’s attention as soon as possible. Make sure that you daughter knows what to do if she is being bullied and make sure she knows where to go for safety if the bullying turns physical.

Make sure you are informed about cyber bullying, girl bullying and the laws regarding it. In order to stop this new trend parents and students need to know the consequences and that there is help out there. Bullying in any form is not a laughing matter.

To be completely informed about safety on the internet and how to safeguard your family, please claim your report at You will be glad you have gathered this information.

I have confidence in you.

Bullying Girls- An International Trend

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

How To Recognize Girl Bullying

The traditional tough guy bully who stands on the corner frisking you for your lunch money is not your typical bully anymore. Recently we have seen a trend in girl bullying that is disturbing to say the least. You used to see girls that were mean to each other, by excluding from a group or sharing gossip, but rarely involved physically violence. Now online communication allows those who tend to be cruel or unkind to be take those negative traits to the extreme.

Online Community Filled With Opportunity

Physical violence breaks out more and more often in our schools and the places where young people gather. This includes the internet.

Online bullying and harassment can follow you everywhere you go 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.

Cyber and text bullying between women is not unheard of. Cruel remarks, off color photos, and other forms of torture are often seen over the internet and on cell phones.

Many Tweens, Teens and Adults Don’t Recognize Boundaries

It may be that what is intended as a joke or sarcastic remark comes across as threatening to the receiver of the message.  Without the filter of  body language, the sender may cross boundaries of respect and privacy without meaning to. What started out as innocent banter may be construed as emotional bullying.

These days bullying is taken very seriously. Most schools, youth groups and churches have a zero tolerance, anti bullying policy when it comes to this behavior. Make sure you and your family know  and understand the policy.  I encourage you to have open and non judgmental conversations about the power of words. It is also a good idea to always make sure your child knows that they can come to you if someone is harassing them.

Is Your Teen Being Bullied

There are many ways to tell if your teen is being bullied. Usually drastic changes in behavior are really good signs that you are facing a bully. The signs also include panic attacks, depression, and loss of interest in social activities.

Many times your teen might avoid using the internet or their cell phone when a bully is harassing them. The internet and cell phones are powerful tools for bullies to use to get to their victims. The person being bullied often feels as if they cannot escape the bully and therefore feelings of helplessness or hopelessness can grow.

If you notice any of these changes in your child try and speak with them about it. Make sure that they understand that bullying is illegal, dangerous, and that there are ways to stop or avoid it. Give them the tools to be able to deal with a bully.

Internet Safety

You will want to check out the excellent information at