Parents Bully Teachers Online

While most schools encourage open communication between parents and teachers, there are some instances where it borders on bullying or abuse. Emails and text messages from parents to teachers and school staff can make it difficult for teachers to concentrate on educating a large group of students intricate subjects.

More and more schools offer homework assignments and grading online, as a convenience to both student and parent. Often the message the child shares about homework assignments and the assignment as listed online are different. Rather than take the word of the teacher as to what the assignment entails, it often is easier for parents to intervene. Sometimes becoming assertive or even aggressive towards the teacher.

Later we will discuss how to create a partnership between teachers, students and their parents to make learning rewarding for everyone.

Helicopter Parents

There are parents who hover over the school administration trying to supervise every detail of their child’s life. This has been dubbed “helicopter parenting.” Their main objective is to control everything and everyone who comes in contact with their child. These parents may have forgotten that their child is not the only one in the class and perhaps he/she is not working up to potential.

It is a disservice to the child when they intervene or antagonize a teacher. The child receives the message that they are weak and cannot take responsibility for their own choices and decisions. The child may grow up with a victim mentality and may not develop problem solving skills effectively. It may be more beneficial to ask the child to brainstorm solutions rather than just have a parent step in. By stepping in the parent takes away the child’s power.

A child who has always been rescued may grow up with the attitude that they deserve special treatment and often blame others for their problems. An important part of being a successful adult is learning to assume personal responsibility and looking for meaningful solutions.

When parent, teacher and child work together to build successful study habits and life skills, everyone benefits. Parents should enhance the schoolwork through open communication and brainstorming as well as encouragement of the student, the teachers and school personnel.

When a parent is upset by something happening at school it can be very easy to send an accusatory email in the heat of the moment. The email may not set the right tone for the communication, and may even be offensive. Parents who have concerns and wish to work together to solve problems, are best to communicate face to face. Through face-to-face communication we use both verbal skills and body language, which helps to convey a positive message. For more information on dealing with conflict without confrontation, visit http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com

Blame and Bullying

I have talked to many teachers who have made the difficult decision to quit the teaching profession or who have become jaded in dealing with disrespectful children and parents who won’t acknowledge problems, or take ownership of them.

These teachers feelings are reflective of the feelings of many educators who say they are tired of being blamed and bullied for the behavior of children which should have and could have been corrected with consistent discipline at home.

This migration of gifted and talented teachers is disheartening. Those of us who care deeply about the education and guidance of young people are leaving the teaching profession in staggering numbers. With more open dialogue between parents and teachers, and more respect from children and parents alike schools could once again be the fulfilling and enlightening place it should be!

After all, everyone wants is to be treated with respect and courtesy. You can’t beat the golden rule, “treat others as you would like to be treated.”

Recognizing the Six Types of Aggressive Bullies:

Are You a Victim?

Bullying can be described as aggressive behaviour that is intentional and involves an imbalance of power or strength. Often patterns of abusive behaviour becomes evident over time. Victims or targets sometimes downplay the violence and damage to their self esteem, hoping it will just go away or at least get better with time. Bullying and aggressive action rarely stop without some sort of intervention.

Bullying, in all forms, is an attempt to steal power from someone else thus empowering the bully. There is no single reason why some people attempt to take advantage of others, but those who intimidate and manipulate often use aggressive tactics.

There doesn’t appear to be a single type of person become the target of bullies or the victims of their aggressive attacks. However, you may want to check out the six types of bullies and their methods of intimidation to see if you can recognize when and if you have been the victim of a bully.

The following are the most common traits of bullies:

The Physical Bully

• hits, kicks, pushes, spits, and/or intimidates
• steals possessions
• forces others do things they don’t want to do themselves

The Verbal Bully

• engages in name calling, humiliating, teasing, and insulting
• uses sarcasm and pointed jokes to point out flaws in their targets personality
• makes degrading comments about victims dress or appearance

The Non-Verbal Bully

• mimics physical activity and/or disabilities of others
• makes offensive gestures and facial expressions
• turns their head or body away when victim is speaking (giving the cold shoulder)
• uses threatening body language (such as standing in the victims personal space, and using postures that make the themselves look physically larger than their victim)

The Social Bully

• refuses to talk or acknowledge their victim
• spreads rumours or innuendoes about others
• makes someone behave or dress in a manner that bully determines
• invites others to an event or party in front of victim, while excluding the victim
• talks directly to the victim about a social event they have been excluded from

The Sexual Bully

• engages in unwanted physical contact
• makes vulgar remarks and gestures toward others
• calls others by sexual names or remarking on sexual orientation
• takes photos or videos of their victim in a compromising situation and threatens to share it
• manipulates situations to gain sexual favours

The Cyber-Bully or Technological Bully

• sends mean, vulgar or threatening messages using cell phones or through text and instant messaging
• texts private messages to others not sent directly to (the victim????)
• sends photos or sexually suggestive photos without permission.
• pretends to be someone else to make their victim look bad
• intentionally excludes someone from an online group
• posts derogatory or inflammatory messages on social media sites (ie: Facebook, Youtube, and MySpace)
• impersonates people through instant messaging to gain information or humiliate

Hold Bullies Accountable

While researching my latest book on cyber-bullying, I have found bullies almost never stop their aggressive and abusive behavior without intervention.

Bullies DO NOT stop bullying; they just get bigger and more devious in their approach.

Empower Yourself

If you recognize that you have been bullied in the past, empower yourself now. Set boundaries and become more assertive in your interpersonal relationships. Claim your free eBook on learning to speak up and say what you want.  Find it at http://www.UseEncouragingWords.com You will be glad you did.

You can do it, I have confidence in you.

“Welcome to our community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all”

What do you do when you have tried every parenting technique in the books?  What do you do when communication,

cooperation, tough love are not enough to turn a rotten attitude and disrespectful behavior in your child around?  When is the right time to stop trying to solve aggressive behavior on your own and call in a psychologist, counselor therapist?

Important to Know When To Ask For Professional Help

If you have consistently tried parenting techniques and set boundaries that are consistently broken, then perhaps it is time to ask for professional help.

If your child has an almost total lack of friends or associates, it may be cause for concern.  However, it may also be a matter of circumstances or personality.  When researching for a recent book on making friends, I found many children go through periods of loneliness or a specific social skill may not have been developed yet.

Red Flags of Behavior to Watch For

If your child has a pattern of manipulating others for favors without any effort to reciprocate, a lack of concern for the feelings, wishes and well-being of others, fighting, stealing, committing acts of vandalism, or setting fires you will want to seek outside help.

Many aggressive and bullying behaviors may occur in conjunction with other symptoms- drug or alcohol abuse or agitated depression.  A lack of feelings of remorse or guilt when caught is another big red flag.

If parents are concerned with physical bullying, the aggressive child or youth may also be cyber-bullying online.  This is becoming a major issue in schools, churches and youth organizations.  Gain insights into monitoring cell phone use at http://bit.ly/cellphonesecrets

Early Intervention Saves Lives

Unless there is a meaningful intervention, many adolescents with anger and aggression problems have a very good chance of spending some or a lot of time in prison.  Even if they do avoid going to prison, they will have very poor social and interpersonal skills and will have difficulty in the workplace and relationships.

Parents should know when outside intervention is needed and seek professional help. You should find a therapist who has experience in this area and is well recommended by others you trust.  Just as many therapists are not trained to work with adolescents, many are not trained to work with anger and intimidation issues.

So you can see that early intervention into aggressive behavior can mean help for your child as well as for those he/she targets with anger and malice. Early help can often mean faster and more effective recovery.