Bullying can best be defined as an imbalance of power. The struggle for power usually takes place over a period of time, but can easily escalate into violence and serious harm to both bully and victim.

There may be just one victim, or target, and one bully.  However, as the struggle ramps up, there are usually others involved as “gang or group” members who have chosen sides or innocent bystanders.

Whenever there is an imbalance of power or strength that is either real or percieved there is a potential for the greater power to intentionally threaten or harm the weaker one.

Tough Boys and Mean Girls

There have always been tough boys and mean girls who have enjoyed teasing, taunting and making life miserable for other kids.

Bullying harassment is hard on victim and bully. Empower kids to be kind.

They enjoy showing and demonstrating their dominance over others.  It is often seen in the playground pecking order, of who gets to be the leader and who is chosen for games last .

We used to think bullying could begin at any age but, typically it begins to escalate around the third grade, peaking by about eighth grade and tapering off in high school. We are now finding bullying often starts earlier and lasts much longer.

But now, with more electronic media readily available through the use of cell phones and the internet, bullying has become more dangerous, more devious and often more difficult to detect.

The combination of cyberspace and bullies can be a dangerous combination. The escalation of cyber-bullying can range from mild teasing to death threats.

Cyber-bullying may carry cruelty to new extremes. Bullies are now using electronic media to taunt, tease, and torture others. Blasting is a phrase that has been used to describe a “blast” of private information posted online and passed around to a large group of followers of the site.

Home as a Safety Haven

Children used to come home to escape the abuse of bullies, but with internet and cell phones readily available bullies can take advantage of their prey anywhere, anytime. Text messages, posts to social media sites and instant messaging services can leave a child vulnerable to being victimized 24 hours a day.

In recent years a number of suicides have been report as a result cyber-bullying. The targets or victims of bullying abuse may have been feeling they had no place to turn for help. That suicide was the only way to escape their pain. Many media reports have called this “bullyside.”

Respect for All

Courtesy toward others and respect for everyone is the foundation of a healthy life and a goal to strive for. Our ultimate goal as parents is to teach our children to be good family members, friends, and neighbors, members of the community, the nation and world.

You will want to claim your free report about internet safety today and begin to understand what is happening in your child’s world. Dealing with bullies is never an easy subject to discuss, but  in this new cyberspace, the effects of bullying are life and death.

Be sure to claim your free report on “Is Your Kid Being Bullied?” by putting your name and email address in the box on the side of the screen.  Thank you for belonging to this community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all.

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Hello from Montana: The following is a comment and the post I commented on. Enjoy

Thank you so much for this post. It really resonated with me; 1) because my grandkids are all so empathic and

Empathy and respect are taught life skills. How you treat animals is usually how you treat other living things.

have been raised to treat all life with respect 2) because I am writing a new book on bullying and especially cyber-bullying.  Many children do not make the connection between their actions and the reactions on others.

Project Chickens before the Eggs – Lesson 108 – Dangling Frogs and empathy

guest post by Wendy Thomas – Simple Thrift

Yesterday at the community pool, some children found a small frog in the grass. One girl proceeded to pick the amphibian up by one of it’s long back legs and dangled it in front of my son’s face trying to frighten him. Other children gathered round in interest.

“Cut it out”, my son angrily said.

I saw this happening and I knew that he meant cut-out-the-hurting-of-the-frog, and not cut-out-the-trying-to-annoy-me. His concern was for the creature being tortured. The girl thinking that she was succeeding in upsetting my son intensified her assault by holding the frog even closer to his face.

I could see that my son was getting more and more frantic as he watched the frog hung upside down struggling desperately to get away from what had it in its grasps. It was pawing the air and violently twisting in its struggle.

“That’s mean,” one of my daughters said. “That’s really mean.”

The girl was not going to let go of the frog, to her, the sport was too much fun.

After waiting a few seconds to see what would happen, I walked over to the group and told them that this was not going to continue. We needed to get the frog safely over the fence and into the nearby grass. I told them all. The girl put the frog down and my daughter gently picking it up in her hands, walked over it to the fence and placing it on the other side where it would be safe from kids and girls who wanted to tease boys.

When we got into the car to go home, my son, a young man of few words simply said “I didn’t like that.”

None of us did.

I’m not saying that my kids are perfect little angels. On occasion they have been known to hit, scratch, and even pull each others’ hair. But what I will say is that when you invite animals (yes, even chickens) into your life something wonderful happens. When those animals are dependent on you for their food, water, and shelter, and when you discover that animals have intelligence and personalities, it makes a difference. A big difference.

You realize that all are connected and all are worthy of respect and empathy. Even the youngest child learns that to harm another, even a lowly frog, is to do injustice to the greater whole. When you invite animals to share in your life, you discover that when someone bigger and stronger harms something smaller and defenseless, it creates damages to everyone.

It’s not a good thing and you don’t like it.

Because of the dogs, cats, gerbils, hermit crabs, and many chickens we have had and continue to have in our lives, my kids have fully embraced that pain and violence to another creature is always wrong and unacceptable.

And that’s something I like.

Simple Thrift – creative living on less

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Recognizing the Six Types of Aggressive Bullies:

Are You a Victim?

Bullying can be described as aggressive behaviour that is intentional and involves an imbalance of power or strength. Often patterns of abusive behaviour becomes evident over time. Victims or targets sometimes downplay the violence and damage to their self esteem, hoping it will just go away or at least get better with time. Bullying and aggressive action rarely stop without some sort of intervention.

Bullying is not strictly a behaviour of the young and not all bullying involves fighting.

Bullying, in all forms, is an attempt to steal power from someone else thus empowering the bully. There is no single reason why some people attempt to take advantage of others, but those who intimidate and manipulate often use aggressive tactics.

There doesn’t appear to be a single type of person become the target of bullies or the victims of their aggressive attacks. However, you may want to check out the six types of bullies and their methods of intimidation to see if you can recognize when and if you have been the victim of a bully.

The following are the most common traits of bullies:

The Physical Bully

• hits, kicks, pushes, spits, and/or intimidates
• steals possessions
• forces others do things they don’t want to do themselves

The Verbal Bully

• engages in name calling, humiliating, teasing, and insulting
• uses sarcasm and pointed jokes to point out flaws in their targets personality
• makes degrading comments about victims dress or appearance

The Non-Verbal Bully

• mimics physical activity and/or disabilities of others
• makes offensive gestures and facial expressions
• turns their head or body away when victim is speaking (giving the cold shoulder)
• uses threatening body language (such as standing in the victims personal space, and using postures that make the themselves look physically larger than their victim)

The Social Bully

• refuses to talk or acknowledge their victim
• spreads rumours or innuendoes about others
• makes someone behave or dress in a manner that bully determines
• invites others to an event or party in front of victim, while excluding the victim
• talks directly to the victim about a social event they have been excluded from

The Sexual Bully

• engages in unwanted physical contact
• makes vulgar remarks and gestures toward others
• calls others by sexual names or remarking on sexual orientation
• takes photos or videos of their victim in a compromising situation and threatens to share it
• manipulates situations to gain sexual favours

The Cyber-Bully or Technological Bully

• sends mean, vulgar or threatening messages using cell phones or through text and instant messaging
• texts private messages to others not sent directly to (the victim????)
• sends photos or sexually suggestive photos without permission.
• pretends to be someone else to make their victim look bad
• intentionally excludes someone from an online group
• posts derogatory or inflammatory messages on social media sites (ie: Facebook, Youtube, and MySpace)
• impersonates people through instant messaging to gain information or humiliate

Hold Bullies Accountable

While researching my latest book on cyber-bullying, I have found bullies almost never stop their aggressive and abusive behavior without intervention.

Bullies DO NOT stop bullying; they just get bigger and more devious in their approach.

Empower Yourself

If you recognize that you have been bullied in the past, empower yourself now. Set boundaries and become more assertive in your interpersonal relationships. Claim your free eBook on learning to speak up and say what you want.  Find it at http://www.UseEncouragingWords.com You will be glad you did.

You can do it, I have confidence in you.

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