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Bullying Epidemic-What You & Your Children Need To Know (EXPERT)

Friday, November 8th, 2019

On September 9, 2013, following a year of verbal abuse and bullying, 12-year-old Rebecca Ann Sedwick decided that she couldn’t take it any longer. She messaged a friend about her intentions, changed her screen name to “That Dead Girl” and climbed the tower at an abandoned concrete plant and jumped. Her mother told the local newspaper, the Lakeland Ledger: “I never had a clue. I mean, she told me last year when she was being bullied, but not this year, and I have no idea why.”

According to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), 64% of young people between the ages of 12 and 18 have been bullied. In Sedwick’s case, the bullying included verbal taunts, threats and even an incident of physical aggression. When Sedwick sought relief by enrolling in a different school, the bullies simply followed her online, taunting her via text messages and social media.

Cyber-bullying

For as long as anyone can remember, the domain of the bully was a face-to-face encounter in the schoolyard. Today, while bullies might still meet up at school, much of the behavior has shifted to online media. This has changed the nature of the attack, since online abuse can feel relentless. Whenever the victim picks up a text message, reads a tweet or goes online to check a social media site, the bullying can resume. Worse, bullies can amass a huge following. One so-called “drama queen” actually had a following of more than 500 other children.

Online bullying is at epidemic proportions: Consumer Reports estimated that in 2011, 800,000 young people had been bullied on Facebook. If you are a parent or caregiver of a child, it’s time to get the facts so that you can teach your child what to do if he experiences face-to-face or cyber-bullies. The first step is to let them know exactly what a bully is and how to recognize bullying behavior.

What is bullying?

A bully is not someone who engages in a single incident of teasing or horseplay. According to Dan Olweus, bullying has three characteristics: 1) it is intentional behavior, 2) it is repeated over time, and 3) it is characterized by an imbalance of power in terms of physical strength or social status. Examples of bullying behavior include the following: when another student (or several students) insults, harasses, spreads lies or rumors about another child or threatens or physically assaults a peer.

What can you do to help prevent abuse?

When you talk about bullying with your child, make sure that he understands that no one should be the object of repeated teasing, name-calling or ridicule. Talk to him about how bullies target someone, and explain that a bully tries to isolate his victim. The best thing to do when you are being bullied is to get help. As the parent, you are your child’s best ally, but let him know there are many other allies he can turn to, including teachers, guidance counselors and school administrators. All of these adults are trained to intervene.

Of course, the best way to inoculate your child to bullying is to make sure he has healthy self-esteem. Let him know that he deserves respect. Tell him it is never his fault if he’s being bullied; it is always the fault of the bully. Children need help understanding that ignoring the problem usually makes it worse. If they are unable to stop a bully, get help. Bullies have power because they isolate their victims. If the victim gets help, then the bully loses all power. You have to confront a bully to make the abuse stop.

Parents of young children should start early, helping them learn and practice basic assertiveness skills. If someone takes something of your child’s or violates his personal space, teach him to say “no” or “stop doing that.” Children should know that they can set boundaries with their peers.

According to the National Association for the Education of Young Children, “Children who express their feelings and needs while respecting those of others will be neither victims nor aggressors.” Help your child identify their feelings and express them through “I” statements. Teach him that he can confront someone who is being controlling or abusive. For instance, “I feel hurt when you take my toy, and I want you to give it back.”

Be cyber savvy!

One of the most important things you can teach your child is to be Internet savvy. Although some bullying starts with a face-to-face conflict, plenty of bullying today begins with incidents of so-called “over-sharing” on social media. Talk to your children about the risks and dangers of sharing personal statements online.

schooladvises parents to ask their children if they think their posts are automatically private. If they say yes, then they need to think again. Even if you set your account to private, it just takes one friend making a screenshot and sending it out to everyone else for your privacy to be gone. Once that happens, you can never get those statements back.

Here’s another mistake: teens often think that their friends will keep their online secrets. Englander has researched this topic extensively. Not only do they not keep secrets well, they are not even thinking about their friends when they break their confidence. Teens gossip to gain status with other teens. It may be shortsighted and impulsive, but it’s also typical teen behavior. Make sure your teen knows that this happens all the time.

And finally, here are two more excellent tips:

• Set a Google alert to your child’s name. If there is any negative material (or any bullying) that pops up online, you’ll be among the first to know.
• Keep up-to-date on the latest apps and sites. It almost goes without saying, but if you don’t understand the technology, there is very little you can do to protect your child.

How can you recognize if your child is being victimized?

Too often parents assume that that their child will tell them if there is a problem when, actually, there is ample evidence to suggest the opposite. Very few children disclose bullying. According to a 2008-2009 School Crime Supplement, two-thirds of the time teens are bullied they never report an incident to anyone, including their parents. This means you need to be watchful. Ask questions of your child and make sure you are looking for problems. Symptoms of possible bullying include the following:

• Your child comes home missing items (books, electronics, etc.).
• Your child avoids school, does not want to attend classes or is unwilling to take the bus. Often these children will use excuses to avoid school (complaints of a stomachache or sickness).
• He appears injured (cuts and bruises).
• He has few, if any, friends (socially isolated).
• He has trouble in school, appears disinterested and/or receives poor grades.
• He appears sad or depressed when he comes home.
• He has trouble sleeping or suffers from bad dreams.
• He appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem.

If your child displays any of these symptoms, talk to him and get help. Reach out to school administrators and work with them to help your child. Find a therapist for your child to talk to. If it appears that he is being victimized, consider taking away his cell phone and limiting his social media use. He may not be able to handle the pressure he’s receiving from peers.

How can you tell if your child is bullying others?

Of course, it is just as important to recognize if your child is the bully. Bullies (especially online ones) may look strong and competent, but in reality they also suffer from depression and low self-esteem. Here are some warning signs that might alert you if your child is the bully:

• He’s confrontational and prone to physical or verbal fights.
• His friends are known as bullies.
• He’s known among siblings as a bully or aggressor.
• He has discipline problems at school.
• He doesn’t act empathetically towards their peers.
• He’s excessively worried about popularity, looks and/or reputation.
• When he does get into trouble, he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions.

If your child displays these behaviors, get help. There is every reason to worry as much about a bully as those that are bullied. Take these symptoms seriously and involve professional help.

Moving forward

One final piece of advice: the best way to teach your child anything is to model the behavior yourself. Demonstrate tolerance to your children, show them that you respect others and let them know you are willing to listen. If you see bullying, step in and set a limit. Let your children know what you did and why. Over time, you’ll learn together how to combat bullying, avoiding tragic fates that plague so many other kids.

This guestpost was supplied by http://www.kenneymyers.com/blog/the-bullying-epidemic-what-you-and-your-children-need-to-know/#comment-48783

Thank you from the bottom of our artichoke hearts for joining us today.  Please be sure to claim your free eBook by joining our community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all.  Sign up above and be sure to leave a comment.

 

Beating The Bullies-Draw The Line On Bullying

Tuesday, October 22nd, 2019

Are you afraid your child is being picked on by a bully in school? Do you know how to talk to your kids about bullying and methods for beating the bullies at their own game? How do you draw the line on bullying?  How do you and your child succeed at beating the bullies? Is bullying that bad?  YES.

Left unchecked, bullying can be disastrous for children and their self-esteem.  Some of the long term effects of bullying may lead to depression or make it hard to form lasting trusting relationships.

Bullies Cannot Be Allowed To Harm Our Kids

But as a caring adult, what can you do that will not make the situation worse?  You may very well think that playground bullying is between the children and adults should not get involved.  However, left unchecked, bullying will only escalate and your child will be left feeling vulnerable and unsafe.

Granted I am older that most parents who are dealing with this issue.  But, even when our kids were younger, bullying wasn’t much talked about. If teachers or parents saw a blatant case of bullying, they stepped in and put a stop to it – often with a smack to the head or a threat of one. Even if the smack was not delivered, most kids were scared enough of the principal and teachers that the abuse stopped.

Many times the teachers would look the other way when someone had the courage to confront the bully and fight it out behind the school.  That may very well happen today, but it is not condoned. Times have changed. As a society, we don’t discipline in that manner any longer.

Teachers and administrators are so afraid of a law suit that they frequently jump in too soon.

cyberbullying, protect children from bullies, online bullies, facebook bully, help for kids who are bullied

New ideas to help you and your child beat the bullies. Check out http://www.cyberbullyinghelp.com for more information. You will be glad you did.

 

New Way Of Responding To Bullies

Many schools practice some sort of “bullying control.”  I am familiar with Kelso’s Choice which is an excellent program for elementary schools.

One middle school I know, practices the concept of ‘the line.’ Individual students either operate above the line or below the line. Above–the-line behavior includes self-control and respect for others – especially respect for fellow students.

Below the line is the domain where the bully operates. Bullies don’t care so much about respecting others. Bullies choose to elevate them selves by putting others down. The bullies own lack of self-respect is most likely a root cause of their bullying behavior.

Let’s be clear, the bully is a leader who leads others below-the-line. The bully gains power when others follow. Without a following, the bully loses power.

Teach your children to pick up on what the bully says but to reply in a way that neutralizes the insult.  For example:

“You stink.”

“Yep, it is a new shampoo.  I think it smells great.”

Help them to understand they have a choice. Either choose to lead and live above the line or lead and live below the line.
Either choose to follow the leaders who operate above the line or follow the bullies who operate below the line.

Bullies Are Cowards

A great method for defussing bullying incidences is to ask the bully to “say it again.” Encourage your child to keep asking the bully to repeat the insult until it becomes less offensive. Since most bullies are cowards and lack the courage to repeat the insult and are more likely to tone it down.

Teach your kids to imagine themselves inside a protective bubble that bounces off bullies’ words.  If they practice visualizing this with you, they will be able to have some control in a potentially disempowering encounter.

Empower Your Child

 Make sure your children have chances to make friends and have successes away from where bullying takes place.  Try a drama group, sports club, band, or choir where the group provides a shared activity than can rebuild confidence eroded by bullies.

Share your comments and ideas at www.cyberbullyinghelp.com  You will also receive a two page list of resources to help beat the bully and draw the line on bullying.

Judy Helm Wright is an author, coach and parent educator.  Schedule a free consultation with her at http://www.judyhwright.com   You will be glad you did.

Ask.fm and Lesser Known Social Media Portals – Cyber Bullying Havens

Friday, October 18th, 2019

Ask.fm and Lesser Known Social Media Portals – Cyber Bullying Havens

Image Courtesy of sidedooryk.com

Parents of young adults, take heed. Facebook and Twitter aren’t the only places where your kids might be bullied. There exist thousands of other online avenues where people hide under the guise of ‘freedom of speech’ to say inappropriate and terrible things to your children. Take for example Ask.fm.

 

“Wait a minute. Why are you still alive?”

This is just one of the questions posted on the page of 12-year old Rebecca Sedwick, who killed herself last month by jumping from an abandoned cement building in Lakeland, Florida. Other questions included similarly horrible queries within the lines of “Why aren’t you dead?” and even non-questions “Drink bleach and die.”

Ask.fm is a social media site where users receive questions from anonymous people. According to LA Times report, millions of teenagers in the United States use this website to talk about late night parties, school work, and others subjects without parental supervision. Sedwick was tormented by about 15 girls her age on Ask.fm, among other lesser known social media portals.

The easily accessible technology of social media apps and virtually limitless internet connectivity gave way to an environment that thrives on anonymity. “These apps are free, and as a result … you can either go up anonymously or create a fictitious identification, and you can torment other children, and it is frightening to see that occur,” noted Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd.

 

“Yes ik  I bullied REBECCA nd she killed her self but IDGAF [I don’t give a f***]”

This was the exact status message of Guadalupe Shaw, 14 years old, after reports of Rebecca Sedwick committing suicide spread. “She needs more than God, she is disgusting,” said the first comment in Shaw’s status.

Police saw this message as a red flag. Along with 12-year old Katelyn Roman, county police arrested Shaw despite planning to delay any detainments due to the nature of the case and the age of the involved individuals. Sheriff Judd said that Roman and Shaw were the primary harassers.

When asked about the legality of the arrest and the case to be filed against the youngsters, Judd mentioned that although bullying in itself is not a crime, it can be grounds for stalking and aggravated stalking.

“We take bullying and cyber bullying exceptionally serious in this county and always have,” said Judd.

 

“Choose your words carefully.”

This was the advice that most experts in behavioral psychology want parents to instill to their children when dealing with cyber bullying. Because children grew up with technology that was not available back when their parents were growing up, research and coaching are imperative for parents to address the issue. These concepts were said by Dr. Elizabeth Englander from the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center on an instructional video found on VerizonWireless’s feature on a familial approach to address cyber bullying.

Part of this research involves being familiar with social networking sites that are overlooked such as the aforementioned Ask.fm, Kik (a smartphone messaging app), and SnapChat.

SnapChat is particularly controversial. Commonly used by adults to hook up by sending ‘pic trading’ or exchanging photos; this app has been the center of the social phenomenon called ‘sexting’. “The biggest part of these sites is parents don’t know about them,” said author of “Wit’s End: Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out of Control Teen” Sue Scheff.

The lack of initiative from parents to get involved with their children’s internet and social media actions create a difficult situation where harassment is only detected when it’s already too late, Scheff said. “It’s as simple as that. No one really knew a lot about Ask.fm until Rebecca died,” she noted.

Resources are always available online for parents to get the basic concepts of social media. How will you deal with it, if your child experiences cyber bullying?

 

Dennis Redley is an advocate of responsible internet usage. He supports various cyber safety initiatives including Verizon’s online safety campaign and Higher EdTech Asia. He is also an aspiring educator and takes part in counseling students.

 

Startling Statistics About Bullying (EXPERT)

Tuesday, October 15th, 2019

Some Facts About Bullying
Bullying is a huge problem for children in the United States and elsewhere. Recently I ran across a great info-graphic that explained some things about bullying. You can see it here: http://www.infographicsarchive.com/health-and-safety/infographic-the-truth-about-bullying/. The info-graphic shared some startling facts that I want to tell you about.
First of all, what is bullying? Well, according to the info-graphic, bullying is physical, verbal or psychological attacks or intimidation against a defenseless person.

Most kids do not tell their parents when they are being bullied or attacked by cyber-bullies. Please talk to your kids about the dangers of bullying. It is serious for the bullied, the bully and the by-stander. Please check out this book at http://www.ArtichokePress.com You will be glad you did.

In fact:
1. 1 out of every 4 kids are bullied every month in the United States
2. 160,000 kids miss school each day for fear of bullying
3. 1 in 10 children drops out of school due to bullying
4. Every 7 minutes a child is bullied
What qualifies as bullying?
• Hitting
• Threatening
• Name-Calling
• Intimidating
• Maliciously Teasing and Taunting
• Making Sexual Remarks
• Stealing or Damaging Belongings
• Indirect Attacks Such as Spreading Rumors
• Encouraging Others to Reject or Exclude Someone
Where does bullying take place and who is being bullied?
1. 85% of bullying occurs inside of school
2. 82% of children with learning disabilities have been bullied at school
3. 44% of middle school kids experience bullying problems
4. 43% of kids fear harassment in the bathroom at school
5. 40% of children with Autism have been bullied at school

What about Cyber Bullying?
1. 35% of kids have been threatened online
2. 43% of kids have been bullied while online
3. 58% have not told their parents or an adult

The venues of cyber bullying are:

• Photo/video sharing
• Phone calls
• Email
• Chat rooms
• Instant Messaging
• Websites

Warning signs your child is being bullied:
1. Disconnects from people and isolates themselves
2. Physical problems such as headaches and stomachaches
3. Difficulty concentrating
4. Difficulty in falling asleep or staying asleep. Experiences frequent nightmares.
5. Seems listless, unenthusiastic, and disheartened in many aspects of life
6. Hyper-vigilant, extremely nervous, depressed or emotionally explosive

The effect of bullying:
1. 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC
2. 14% of high school students have considered suicide
3. 7% have attempted it
As you can see, bullying is a very serious problem.

Talk to your kids about what to do if they should be bullied and make sure you recognize changes in your child’s behavior that indicate they are being bullied.
Author Bio:
Jason Miner an expert freelance writer loves writing articles on different categories. He is approaching different bloggers to recognize each other’s efforts through “www.blogcarnival.com”. He can be contacted through e-mail at jasonminer8atgmaildotcom.

Keep Kids Safe on Internet- Protect Them From Cyberbullies

Friday, March 22nd, 2019

As the two dimensional world envelopes more and more of our lives, the ability to use the Internet wisely can hold the key to our, and our children’s success in life. There are over 2.4 billion people that use the Internet today-an increase of over 500 percent according to InternetWorldStats.com, and that number is going to continue to grow as the Internet becomes an increasingly central force in our lives, interactions, and commerce.

Like any life-changing technology, the information super highway can be used for as much good as it can bad, it’s up to the user to dictate how they spend their time, and teach and inspire others. The future might just depend on our ability to discern how we teach our children to spend their time online.

Make Sure There’s a Return on What You Learn

Unlike other major technological advancements, surfing the Internet doesn’t direct us towards progress on an individual level (the plow helps us cultivate food, factory machines directly produce products, etc…). Unlike the invention of the wheel, sitting in a chair and browsing Facebook for four hours doesn’t get us anywhere. It’s up to us to seek out useful information online and apply it to our lives instead of letting ourselves and our children waste time getting sucked into a vapid hole.

Instead of wasting time lusting after cars you can’t afford, or lamenting how thick your favorite celebrity’s hair is, the Internet can also be used just as easily to teach yourself a new language, or become an expert in bug collecting. Using this general rule of thumb – browsing is for improving skills to apply to life – is integral to teaching your little ones how to inspire themselves, build their abilities, and succeed in life.

The Dangers of Strangers

Unfortunately, the Internet is also a mecca for creative thieves and swindlers, and teaching your children about keeping themselves safe online is as important as teaching them not to get into a strangers car. Identity thieves know the best ways to target and extrapolate personal information from adults, but they’re becoming more and more focused on children. A child’s social security number is much less likely to have a history of bankruptcy and bad credit, and most of us never even think to check our toddler’s credit score- it’s the perfect storm.

As your children reach the age of Internet exploration, teaching them to keep their personal information secret, and showing them how to spot predators is an absolute must. In the mean time, checking out ID theft protection services doesn’t hurt either.

Don’t Be a Click-ler Stickler

Altruism is one of the distinct aspects that separates people from animals, and makes us awesome. The Internet has the ability to inflate our sense of altruism without actually accomplishing anything. How many times have you “clicked” on a petition or felt good about “liking” a page that wants to end world hunger? Unfortunately, clicking and liking doesn’t apply to much of anything in the real world. If we want our children to grow up to be the type of people that can change the world, then it’s imperative we drill them with the difference between action and sentiment, and make it clear that all the clicks and likes in the world won’t clean up an oil spill or fix the ozone.

Parents, it is up to us to set the stage for the future of the world, and teaching our kids how to use the Internet and protect themselves from its dangers is, perhaps, the best way to prepare them to move mountains, save rain-forests, and keep themselves and their future families safe.

Protect your children from being bullied online. Information on how text bullying works. http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Protect your children from being bullied online. Information on how text bullying works. http://www.ArtichokePress.com

How To Protect Your Child From Cyber Bullying Using Mobile Monitoring Applications?

Monday, August 20th, 2012

How To Protect Your Child From Cyber Bullying Using Mobile Monitoring Applications?

Mobile usage is increasing day by day and it has become an indispensable device. The additional uses of a mobile phone as a camera, a music player, a laptop to access mails and internet has resulted in its widespread usage. Children too have not been spared from being bitten by the mobile phone bug. The benefits are far surpassed by the crimes associated with children using mobile phones.

Cyber bullying is rampant in the cyber world.

Children unknowingly fall victims to such abuse through visiting prohibited sites and social networking sites. There have been many instances where children were lured through answering missed calls from unknown numbers and subjected to sexual harassment.

Hence, it is important for parents to protect their children from becoming victims of cyber abuse. This can be achieved by installing mobile monitoring applications like Mobile Spy on your child’s phone.

Software easy to install to protect your child

It is very easy to install such software on your child’s phone. Once installed, the data from the mobile phone is uploaded to your user account, which is created at the time of purchasing the monitoring application. All activities of the phone can then be viewed remotely through the user account. Some of the monitoring application features that help to protect your child from cyber abuse are:

Text bullying is a concern for many kids and their parents. Learn to monitor electronic devices your kids use and facts about internet safety.

  • Monitoring the call history: The monitoring application records details of all incoming and outgoing calls. The time and duration along with the numbers are also recorded. By reviewing the call log, the parent can know the child’s contacts, whether they are good or bad.
  • Call recording: most of the monitoring applications have the call recording facility whereby you can actually listen to the conversation. Even if the child is scared to report the abuse, it is easy to track the caller and nail him with proof of the conversation.
  • Internet History: A record of all the websites visited by the child can be known. The entire web history is recorded even if the child erases the history on the mobile. It is thus possible to know if the child has viewed any inappropriate material.
  • Record of chats and IM messages: With the help of the monitoring spyware, you can view the full contents of the chat windows and SMS messages. By keeping a tab on chats, it is easy to monitor contacts with strangers who may turn out to be pedophiles.
  • E mail log: A detail of every email that has been sent or received through the target mobile phone is recorded, despite the child deleting the messages. You can monitor the child and his contact by reviewing the mail contents.
  • GPS tracking: With this device, it is easy to locate your child. In the unfortunate event of kidnapping or the child getting lost, the GPS device will come to the rescue.
  • Video and Picture log: A parent can view all the photos and videos on the child’s phone. There may be instances when the child may be blackmailed through pornographic content like nude photos or bathroom videos. The abuser would demand undue favors from the child by threatening to expose them on the web. Any child would be scared to report such abuse and give in to the demands. Installation of the software protects the child by exposing such criminals.

This is a guest post from my friend and colleague Sharon Stouffer.  She shares my concerns about finding help for children who are being cyber-bullied.   Her contact information is below.  Please be sure to claim your free report on resources for parents and teachers.  You will find it at CyberBullyingHelp.com

Sharon Stouffer is passionate about Mobile Technology and Applications. Please visit her website about Cell Phone Spy software to follow her updates.

Starting School Without Being Afraid Of Bullies

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Starting School Without Being Afraid Of Bullies

Teaching children proper protocol for handling school bullies is a complex issue today. Increasingly, parents find themselves trying to protect their children from bullying personalities and worry about their child’s safety. Ultimately, it is children who must cope with the difficulties of exposure to unacceptable bully behavior. Parents need to reduce their child’s fears before they can help them avoid problems with bullies.

There are several points to consider so children can start school without fear of bullies:
1. Address children’s’ fears
2. Provide safety guidelines
3. Clarify Children’s’ Options
4. Teach Bully Awareness

1. Address Children’s’ Fears
The most important aspect of providing a child with quality of life is to help them live with less fear. Discuss their fears openly and with understanding.

2. Provide Safety Guidelines
Children need to know when they are in danger. Most important is their need to know how to protect themselves from bullies.

3. Clarify Children’s’ Options
When they are exposed to a bully, children need to think first about their options. Help your child to know the options available to them to protect themselves and to insure their safety.

4. Teach Bully Awareness
Children need to be sensitized to aggressive behavior that goes beyond the bounds of normal. They need to be taught to identify what constitutes bullying.

Reducing the sting of the fear of bullies helps children recognize their own strengths. Help children to build a healthy sense of self-confidence and self-identity. They do this by reinforcing their sense of community and affability with others in their social networks. Children who build strong bonds of friendship are less likely to be targets of bullies. The axiom, “There is safety in numbers,” should be pointed out to children so they understand the importance of their personal friendships as a unifying part of their lives.

Inevitably, every child faces a bully sooner or later. Preparing a child for this possibility may prevent a serious situation. Expose them to books and venues that reinforce their preparation for a bullying episode. Less fearful, self-confident children who are fully oriented to their options may still recoil from a bully. With regular support and awareness, children will survive a bullying episode and know the proper methods to protect themselves.

It’s important to point out to children that a school bully is just a child like them. The menacing behavior of a bully is less dangerous when the bully realizes other children are prepared to isolate aggressive behavior and report their bullying. A bully may not express concern for his/her unacceptable behavior. When consequences for that behavior are consistent, bullying can be less of a problem.

 

About the Author:

 

This guest post is contributed by Debra Johnson, blogger and editor of full time nanny.

She welcomes your comments at her email Id: – jdebra84 @ gmail.com.

 

Cyber bullying: is your child getting victimized?

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

Is my child being a victim of cyberbullying?

You can be mistaken more than often in judging the security of your child within the comfort of the home. When engaging technology in almost every aspect of life, you inevitably increase vulnerability. The internet has brought a plethora of resources with its inevitable side effects. One such side effect, which seems tempting for many people, is cyber bullying. Although there may be no physical injury involved, the inherent emotional setback can upset your child and adversely affect the personality.

You will want to check out this remarkable "77 Ways to Parent Series" at http://amzn.to/kindlebyjudy

The urbane art of bullying

In cyber bullying, the abuser uses new technology like the internet or mobile phones, making things more challenging for the victim to trace the abuser. Research points out that cyber bullying can be used as an additional tool by the abuser besides the traditional ones. The multiplicity, unpredictability and complexity of cyber bullying can magnify the effect of the harassment or embarrassment for the victim. You (and your child) may not be prepared to face such a hostile sequence of events.

Victimization can be direct and indirect. Recognizing cyber bullying can be difficult due to its covert characteristic. Children who are being victimized can reveal sadness, depression, low self-esteem, reduced academic performance, aggression and difficulty in peer relations.

Substance abuse can also be observed. You need to be watchful of any of the warning signals, and co-relate events to deduce a logical conclusion. This happens more challenging if your child goes in hibernation or is unwilling to share his/her concern. If you observe any obvious change in your child’s behavior, consider it an indicator that he/she requires external help.

If there is reluctance to socializing, escaping school or recreational activities, abrupt mood swings, he/she is probably being the target of cyber bullying; your interruption is desired in controlling the situation from worsening.

Considerations to assist handling cyber bullying

With the rising involvement of technology, it would be impractical to advise your child keep away from the activities going around. You cannot restrict opportunities to keep the bullies away from your child. It is important to realize that learning is integral to the growth of children. As adults, parents can better recognize the vulnerability of their children. This enables maneuvering and customizing tools favorably.

Educate your child to use the tool (internet or mobile) favorably to resolve the problem considerably.

The more thorough and well equipped your child is, the better he/she can handle cyber bullies (sometimes, even without your support!). Changing mobile numbers and usernames can help to some extent. If the site facilitates, block the bully to make your child inaccessible. The bullying incident can be reported to the website manager for appropriate action. Avoid responding to messages or e-mails of the bully.

Gain confidence of your child to enable him/her share an unfavorable incident with you. You may not be able to assist your child unless you are aware of the situation. Listen calmly to the story and ask for your child’s reaction. Ask for the child’s opinion and suggest practical solutions. Follow up, as the bully may revert to bring more damage along with.

Sometimes, cyber bullying leaves your child with low self-esteem and self-confidence. Alleviate his/her sense of individual power; you can involve him/her in some decision-making at home. Divert focus by creating enjoyable and favorable opportunities.

Technology may be a necessary evil. By using it the right way, you devise solution(s) to resolve the difficulty. It is better to take command before a thing becomes overwhelming. Behaving alert and pro-active can keep your child from being a victim. On facing an unfavorable situation, use judgment instead of impulse.

About the author: Alia Haley is a blogger who takes an utmost care while choosing her stuff as she prefers to own only green accessories. These days she is busy in writing an article on yacht world  and In vitro fertilization.

Texting on Cell Phones Main Line of Communication For Teens

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

Texting and Instant Messaging Can Hurt Children

Schools deal with the issue of harassment through text messaging and online instant messaging every day.

Cell phones and texting is the primary form of communication with teens. Families need to learn about internet safety and cyberbullying online.

But, many adults do not realize just how often children are being bullied online or through texting.

Often too afraid to tell their parents, children try to deal the problem of cyberbullying themselves. They often only getting their parents involved when the situation gets out of control and the child is helpless to do anything about it alone.

Texting is Main Source of Communication

Teachers and parents agree that texting-whether the act of sending one or the anticipation of receiving one- distracts tweens and teens.  Most schools prohibit cell phones in the classrooms, but teens are very adept at getting around the system.

A 2008 Harris Interactive study found that nearly half of kids-42% could text even when blindfolded.

Tactics of the Cyberbully

Bullying, threats and intimidation, harassment and causing embarrassment of another are all tactics of today’s cyber bully.

This growing problem uses interactive technology such as cell phones, chat rooms and online instant messaging in an effort to harass, embarrass or otherwise victimize another person.

The motivation of the cyberbully is widely varied. Often schools are powerless to help as much of the bullying takes place off school grounds.

Why do Children Become Cyberbullies

The reasons children cyberbully each other are many. Sometimes children are holding a grudge against their victim, or want to emotionally hurt another. Sometimes they act out of boredom as a child seeks a new form of entertainment. Sometimes kids fight back against being bullied by becoming bullies themselves.

How to Combat Cyberbullying

At this juncture law enforcement around much of the world is ill equipped to deal with cases of cyber harassment. Right now most laws only apply to cyber threats such as hacking or death threats.

Often the only recourse for cyber harassment victims is to report the problem to their Internet Service Provider. In most cases cyberbullying is only considered a breach of the terms and conditions of the ISP and the only recourse is to suspend or cut off the bully’s internet access.

This usually only stops the bullying for a short time while the cyberbully sets up a new account, or finds access elsewhere.

Questions to Ask Yourself

  • What would I do if I found my child was being victimized by a cyber bully?
  • Do I know the signs that my child may be being harassed by a cyber bully?
  • Could I tell if my child might be bullying someone else online? How would I deal with it?

Bully Advocate

  • We empower the bully to gain empathy and learn new ways of communication
  • We empower the bystander to get involved and diffuse the confrontation
  • We empower the victim to be courageous and set boundaries
  • We empower the group, school, family or community to adopt a no-bully, respect for all policy

Follow us on FaceBook at Judy Helm Wright or on http://www.Twitter.com/bullyadvocate

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Cyberbullying – New Term – Old Concepts

Monday, November 22nd, 2010

The term cyberbullying did not exist a decade ago but mean people did.

Cyberbullying is the repeated use of technology to harass, humiliate or threaten others.

The techniques and styles of bullying have changed but the cruelty and power struggles are still going on in schools internationally. Bullies are not limited to the classroom, hall or playground.  Because so many children use technology on a daily basis, cyberbullying can take place anywhere and anytime.

Anywhere from one-third to one-half of youths have been targeted by cyberbullies, according to an article by Jennifer Holladay in Fall, 2010 issue of Teaching Tolerance, a project of the Southern Poverty Law Center.  Jennifer goes on to say ” And those experiences produce damaging consequences-everything from a decline in academic performance to thoughts about suicide.

Types of Cyberbullying

  • Identity theft- fake profiles might be set up pretending to be an individual with the sole aim of bullying others
  • Chat rooms, blogs and forums- although you are supposed to be at least 13 years old to participate, very few are monitored.
  • Pictures and photo sharing – videos of girls dressing and undressing in the locker room after soccer practice can be taken with an Iphone and then shared on various sites.
  • Prank phone calls- these may just be annoying, but can turn to stalking if it persists.
  • Text messages- can be abusive and threatening.
  • E-mail- it is very easy to set up a new email account with a fictitious name and begin sending offensive e-mails.
  • Instant messages- quicker than email, these permit users to have real time conversations and arguments.
  • Social media- Facebook and Myspace are easy for cyberbullies to post offensive messages.

What Should Parents Do About Cyberbullying?

  • Encourage them to talk to you about what is going on in their lives and the lives of their friends. If they are feeling anxiety or fear I recommend a wonderful program @
  • Don’t over react until you are sure that it wasn’t a misunderstanding.  Youth are nervous about sharing concerns with parents for fear of them going ballistic and making matters worse.
  • Encourage them to show you any abusive or offensive emails and keep a record of what has gone on.
  • Turn on safety features to ensure that your family is only getting messages from those you wish to correspond with.
  • Ask them how you can help them to solve the problem.  If you jump in and solve, it will only reinforce in their minds that they are victims.
  • Teach them life skills, like setting boundaries and speaking up in difficult situations.  These are social skills that will help them for the rest of their lives.

Cyberbullying may be a new term but you can equip your family to win and prosper in any situation.

Please sign up for a free report @ http://www.cyberbullyinghelp.com which will give you tips and techniques to strengthen your children in the new cyber-world.