Claim your FREE Cyberbullying Report Now, 10 tips to help spot and prevent cyberbullying: Name: Email:

Archive for the ‘Helpful Articles’ Category

Parenting In Social Media Age- Keep Kids Safe Online (Guest Expert)

Friday, December 6th, 2019

technologysonParenting has changed drastically in the past decade. Instead of dinner bells ringing children home, they now have cell phones. Social media has become an obsession and a favorite past time. With the changes in technology, changes in parenting become necessary.

You can keep your child safe in the social media age with a few tips to help you stay up to speed with today’s technology and your child’s plugged-in world.

Learn the Technology

First and foremost, for parents to be able to help, it is important that they understand how technology works and accept that technology is a big part of young people’s lives, says Silje Vallestad, CEO and founder of Bipper, a mobile safety app company. As cyber bullying situations continue to increase, parents must know how to operate and monitor apps, social media networks and various technology to ensure that their children are acting appropriately and that they are treated respectfully in what is a 24/7 public environment.

“For kids today, being stripped of their access to the social communities and technology in general is considered so bad that they won’t ask for help or tell parents about negative experiences,” says Vallestad. “Parents need to understand that there is a difference between the digital childhood of kids today and their own upbringing, and that access to technology is as important as access to paper and pens.”

Although social media is extremely important to your child, it doesn’t mean they should have full reign of the technology. “Parents should never grant kids access to technology without guiding them in the world of technology and to be able to guide their kids, they need to understand technology and online services,” says Vallestad. “I believe in parents spending time educating themselves, combined with frequent conversations between parent and child about the use of technology in general and use of specific services in particular.”

Use Technology to Bond with Your Child

Monitoring your child’s social media use does not have to be a negative experience, wherein you are acting the part of a spy. Use technology as an opportunity to learn something new from your children and brush up on your own skills. Vallestad, the mother of three kids all using technology, says she uses mobile app alerts that provide information on which social media applications her children are downloading.

“When I see that they have installed apps I either don’t know much about or that I’m worried about (such as SnapChat or Instagram), I make a point of having a good conversation about these services,” she says. “They teach me a lot about technology and the services while we talk about how things can be used for good or bad.”

These conversations can help to create trust between a parent and a child and allow opportunities to talk about how technology can be used to harm others and how to react in those situations. “With our frequent talks on tech, where I show that I’m both interested and involved in their digital lives and also allow them to use technology, I believe we have fostered an atmosphere where they will feel safe to tell me if something bad is happening,” says Vallestad.

Have a Plan of Action

As you are learning the technology, it’s important to remember the top three actions to take when your child is engaged in social media, according to Vallestad.

  • Technology is Important to Your Child: Understand that your kids need to use technology and be part of the online communities where their peers are. It’s part of their lives and if you remove it, you will probably create a growing gap between you and your child instead of fostering an atmosphere of dialogue.
  • Open Conversations are Necessary: Engage in open and trusting conversations with your kids about technology. Let them tell you, show you and teach you. Reacting with anger or shock to things you might see could result in your kids closing down conversations. Try to stay calm and ask questions. Together, you can agree on rules. Sometimes you both may come to the conclusion that a particular service is not ok. Other times, it is ok but you may require that you will be a friend or follower.
  • Research is Key: Do your own research on services and use that research to ask your kids the right questions. However, don’t automatically assume that your kids are using a questionable service in a wrong way simply because there is a lot of information online about that service being used negatively. Do keep an open eye and make sure you are neither naïve nor ignorant about social media.

Join Our Community

If you have enjoyed this information, you are invited to join our community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all.  Sign up today at http://www.ArtichokePress.com    You will be glad you did.

Warning Signs Your Teen Is Bullying Other Teens

Wednesday, November 20th, 2019

Since we love our children, we are always on the lookout for signs that he or she is being bullied at school. We hate to think that there may be children who try to exclude him or her from activities or ridicule him or her. Sometimes we are so caught up in trying to find out if our teenager is being treated fairly that we forget to check if he or she might actually be the bully. Shockingly, many parents are unaware of their teen’s behavior around others in his or her age bracket. Here are signs that your child is a bully.

School Problems

If you are getting regular phone calls from the principal regarding your child’s behavior at school, it may mean that he or she is a bully. It may range from making others do their homework, verbal abuse of a student or teacher and/or physical abuse as well. While some parents may conclude that it is part of “growing pains,” experts would differ.

Positive Outlook towards Violence

If your teen loves movies and games where people are being hurt or killed, you may have a bully on your hands. Do you see your teen smiling smugly when he or she watches shows where people are maimed? Does your child laugh at situations that show any form of physical violence? If you answer yes to both questions, there is a chance that your child is a bully.

Behavioral Problems

Does your teen treat his or her peers and adults with an equal amount of disdain? If your child is domineering at home and constantly bickers with his or her parents or siblings, this is a warning sign that the child may have behavioral issues.

Hot Tempered

When a child reacts violently to even the tiniest stimuli, parents need to consider that he or she may be a bully. If your child spews verbal abuse or uses physical force to make a point, it should be considered a major issue. Teenage bullies will usually take their behavioral issues home as well. However, there are others who are veritable angels at home. Some teenagers will try to mask this behavior by apologizing profusely right after it.
Once you have confirmed that your child is a bully, you should take him or her to see a therapist. Counseling can help a bully deal with the issues that trigger his or her rage. However, if a child has a consistent history of bullying and a parent is unable to control it, a boarding school has to be considered. It would be best to send your child to a school nearby so that you can check on his or her progress. If you live in L.A., consider asking your child’s school principal to help you find good boarding schools in Los Angeles.

Submitted by Guest Poster Agnes J.

Bullying Epidemic-What You & Your Children Need To Know (EXPERT)

Friday, November 8th, 2019

On September 9, 2013, following a year of verbal abuse and bullying, 12-year-old Rebecca Ann Sedwick decided that she couldn’t take it any longer. She messaged a friend about her intentions, changed her screen name to “That Dead Girl” and climbed the tower at an abandoned concrete plant and jumped. Her mother told the local newspaper, the Lakeland Ledger: “I never had a clue. I mean, she told me last year when she was being bullied, but not this year, and I have no idea why.”

According to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), 64% of young people between the ages of 12 and 18 have been bullied. In Sedwick’s case, the bullying included verbal taunts, threats and even an incident of physical aggression. When Sedwick sought relief by enrolling in a different school, the bullies simply followed her online, taunting her via text messages and social media.

Cyber-bullying

For as long as anyone can remember, the domain of the bully was a face-to-face encounter in the schoolyard. Today, while bullies might still meet up at school, much of the behavior has shifted to online media. This has changed the nature of the attack, since online abuse can feel relentless. Whenever the victim picks up a text message, reads a tweet or goes online to check a social media site, the bullying can resume. Worse, bullies can amass a huge following. One so-called “drama queen” actually had a following of more than 500 other children.

Online bullying is at epidemic proportions: Consumer Reports estimated that in 2011, 800,000 young people had been bullied on Facebook. If you are a parent or caregiver of a child, it’s time to get the facts so that you can teach your child what to do if he experiences face-to-face or cyber-bullies. The first step is to let them know exactly what a bully is and how to recognize bullying behavior.

What is bullying?

A bully is not someone who engages in a single incident of teasing or horseplay. According to Dan Olweus, bullying has three characteristics: 1) it is intentional behavior, 2) it is repeated over time, and 3) it is characterized by an imbalance of power in terms of physical strength or social status. Examples of bullying behavior include the following: when another student (or several students) insults, harasses, spreads lies or rumors about another child or threatens or physically assaults a peer.

What can you do to help prevent abuse?

When you talk about bullying with your child, make sure that he understands that no one should be the object of repeated teasing, name-calling or ridicule. Talk to him about how bullies target someone, and explain that a bully tries to isolate his victim. The best thing to do when you are being bullied is to get help. As the parent, you are your child’s best ally, but let him know there are many other allies he can turn to, including teachers, guidance counselors and school administrators. All of these adults are trained to intervene.

Of course, the best way to inoculate your child to bullying is to make sure he has healthy self-esteem. Let him know that he deserves respect. Tell him it is never his fault if he’s being bullied; it is always the fault of the bully. Children need help understanding that ignoring the problem usually makes it worse. If they are unable to stop a bully, get help. Bullies have power because they isolate their victims. If the victim gets help, then the bully loses all power. You have to confront a bully to make the abuse stop.

Parents of young children should start early, helping them learn and practice basic assertiveness skills. If someone takes something of your child’s or violates his personal space, teach him to say “no” or “stop doing that.” Children should know that they can set boundaries with their peers.

According to the National Association for the Education of Young Children, “Children who express their feelings and needs while respecting those of others will be neither victims nor aggressors.” Help your child identify their feelings and express them through “I” statements. Teach him that he can confront someone who is being controlling or abusive. For instance, “I feel hurt when you take my toy, and I want you to give it back.”

Be cyber savvy!

One of the most important things you can teach your child is to be Internet savvy. Although some bullying starts with a face-to-face conflict, plenty of bullying today begins with incidents of so-called “over-sharing” on social media. Talk to your children about the risks and dangers of sharing personal statements online.

schooladvises parents to ask their children if they think their posts are automatically private. If they say yes, then they need to think again. Even if you set your account to private, it just takes one friend making a screenshot and sending it out to everyone else for your privacy to be gone. Once that happens, you can never get those statements back.

Here’s another mistake: teens often think that their friends will keep their online secrets. Englander has researched this topic extensively. Not only do they not keep secrets well, they are not even thinking about their friends when they break their confidence. Teens gossip to gain status with other teens. It may be shortsighted and impulsive, but it’s also typical teen behavior. Make sure your teen knows that this happens all the time.

And finally, here are two more excellent tips:

• Set a Google alert to your child’s name. If there is any negative material (or any bullying) that pops up online, you’ll be among the first to know.
• Keep up-to-date on the latest apps and sites. It almost goes without saying, but if you don’t understand the technology, there is very little you can do to protect your child.

How can you recognize if your child is being victimized?

Too often parents assume that that their child will tell them if there is a problem when, actually, there is ample evidence to suggest the opposite. Very few children disclose bullying. According to a 2008-2009 School Crime Supplement, two-thirds of the time teens are bullied they never report an incident to anyone, including their parents. This means you need to be watchful. Ask questions of your child and make sure you are looking for problems. Symptoms of possible bullying include the following:

• Your child comes home missing items (books, electronics, etc.).
• Your child avoids school, does not want to attend classes or is unwilling to take the bus. Often these children will use excuses to avoid school (complaints of a stomachache or sickness).
• He appears injured (cuts and bruises).
• He has few, if any, friends (socially isolated).
• He has trouble in school, appears disinterested and/or receives poor grades.
• He appears sad or depressed when he comes home.
• He has trouble sleeping or suffers from bad dreams.
• He appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem.

If your child displays any of these symptoms, talk to him and get help. Reach out to school administrators and work with them to help your child. Find a therapist for your child to talk to. If it appears that he is being victimized, consider taking away his cell phone and limiting his social media use. He may not be able to handle the pressure he’s receiving from peers.

How can you tell if your child is bullying others?

Of course, it is just as important to recognize if your child is the bully. Bullies (especially online ones) may look strong and competent, but in reality they also suffer from depression and low self-esteem. Here are some warning signs that might alert you if your child is the bully:

• He’s confrontational and prone to physical or verbal fights.
• His friends are known as bullies.
• He’s known among siblings as a bully or aggressor.
• He has discipline problems at school.
• He doesn’t act empathetically towards their peers.
• He’s excessively worried about popularity, looks and/or reputation.
• When he does get into trouble, he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions.

If your child displays these behaviors, get help. There is every reason to worry as much about a bully as those that are bullied. Take these symptoms seriously and involve professional help.

Moving forward

One final piece of advice: the best way to teach your child anything is to model the behavior yourself. Demonstrate tolerance to your children, show them that you respect others and let them know you are willing to listen. If you see bullying, step in and set a limit. Let your children know what you did and why. Over time, you’ll learn together how to combat bullying, avoiding tragic fates that plague so many other kids.

This guestpost was supplied by http://www.kenneymyers.com/blog/the-bullying-epidemic-what-you-and-your-children-need-to-know/#comment-48783

Thank you from the bottom of our artichoke hearts for joining us today.  Please be sure to claim your free eBook by joining our community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all.  Sign up above and be sure to leave a comment.

 

Ask.fm and Lesser Known Social Media Portals – Cyber Bullying Havens

Friday, October 18th, 2019

Ask.fm and Lesser Known Social Media Portals – Cyber Bullying Havens

Image Courtesy of sidedooryk.com

Parents of young adults, take heed. Facebook and Twitter aren’t the only places where your kids might be bullied. There exist thousands of other online avenues where people hide under the guise of ‘freedom of speech’ to say inappropriate and terrible things to your children. Take for example Ask.fm.

 

“Wait a minute. Why are you still alive?”

This is just one of the questions posted on the page of 12-year old Rebecca Sedwick, who killed herself last month by jumping from an abandoned cement building in Lakeland, Florida. Other questions included similarly horrible queries within the lines of “Why aren’t you dead?” and even non-questions “Drink bleach and die.”

Ask.fm is a social media site where users receive questions from anonymous people. According to LA Times report, millions of teenagers in the United States use this website to talk about late night parties, school work, and others subjects without parental supervision. Sedwick was tormented by about 15 girls her age on Ask.fm, among other lesser known social media portals.

The easily accessible technology of social media apps and virtually limitless internet connectivity gave way to an environment that thrives on anonymity. “These apps are free, and as a result … you can either go up anonymously or create a fictitious identification, and you can torment other children, and it is frightening to see that occur,” noted Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd.

 

“Yes ik  I bullied REBECCA nd she killed her self but IDGAF [I don’t give a f***]”

This was the exact status message of Guadalupe Shaw, 14 years old, after reports of Rebecca Sedwick committing suicide spread. “She needs more than God, she is disgusting,” said the first comment in Shaw’s status.

Police saw this message as a red flag. Along with 12-year old Katelyn Roman, county police arrested Shaw despite planning to delay any detainments due to the nature of the case and the age of the involved individuals. Sheriff Judd said that Roman and Shaw were the primary harassers.

When asked about the legality of the arrest and the case to be filed against the youngsters, Judd mentioned that although bullying in itself is not a crime, it can be grounds for stalking and aggravated stalking.

“We take bullying and cyber bullying exceptionally serious in this county and always have,” said Judd.

 

“Choose your words carefully.”

This was the advice that most experts in behavioral psychology want parents to instill to their children when dealing with cyber bullying. Because children grew up with technology that was not available back when their parents were growing up, research and coaching are imperative for parents to address the issue. These concepts were said by Dr. Elizabeth Englander from the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center on an instructional video found on VerizonWireless’s feature on a familial approach to address cyber bullying.

Part of this research involves being familiar with social networking sites that are overlooked such as the aforementioned Ask.fm, Kik (a smartphone messaging app), and SnapChat.

SnapChat is particularly controversial. Commonly used by adults to hook up by sending ‘pic trading’ or exchanging photos; this app has been the center of the social phenomenon called ‘sexting’. “The biggest part of these sites is parents don’t know about them,” said author of “Wit’s End: Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out of Control Teen” Sue Scheff.

The lack of initiative from parents to get involved with their children’s internet and social media actions create a difficult situation where harassment is only detected when it’s already too late, Scheff said. “It’s as simple as that. No one really knew a lot about Ask.fm until Rebecca died,” she noted.

Resources are always available online for parents to get the basic concepts of social media. How will you deal with it, if your child experiences cyber bullying?

 

Dennis Redley is an advocate of responsible internet usage. He supports various cyber safety initiatives including Verizon’s online safety campaign and Higher EdTech Asia. He is also an aspiring educator and takes part in counseling students.

 

Startling Statistics About Bullying (EXPERT)

Tuesday, October 15th, 2019

Some Facts About Bullying
Bullying is a huge problem for children in the United States and elsewhere. Recently I ran across a great info-graphic that explained some things about bullying. You can see it here: http://www.infographicsarchive.com/health-and-safety/infographic-the-truth-about-bullying/. The info-graphic shared some startling facts that I want to tell you about.
First of all, what is bullying? Well, according to the info-graphic, bullying is physical, verbal or psychological attacks or intimidation against a defenseless person.

Most kids do not tell their parents when they are being bullied or attacked by cyber-bullies. Please talk to your kids about the dangers of bullying. It is serious for the bullied, the bully and the by-stander. Please check out this book at http://www.ArtichokePress.com You will be glad you did.

In fact:
1. 1 out of every 4 kids are bullied every month in the United States
2. 160,000 kids miss school each day for fear of bullying
3. 1 in 10 children drops out of school due to bullying
4. Every 7 minutes a child is bullied
What qualifies as bullying?
• Hitting
• Threatening
• Name-Calling
• Intimidating
• Maliciously Teasing and Taunting
• Making Sexual Remarks
• Stealing or Damaging Belongings
• Indirect Attacks Such as Spreading Rumors
• Encouraging Others to Reject or Exclude Someone
Where does bullying take place and who is being bullied?
1. 85% of bullying occurs inside of school
2. 82% of children with learning disabilities have been bullied at school
3. 44% of middle school kids experience bullying problems
4. 43% of kids fear harassment in the bathroom at school
5. 40% of children with Autism have been bullied at school

What about Cyber Bullying?
1. 35% of kids have been threatened online
2. 43% of kids have been bullied while online
3. 58% have not told their parents or an adult

The venues of cyber bullying are:

• Photo/video sharing
• Phone calls
• Email
• Chat rooms
• Instant Messaging
• Websites

Warning signs your child is being bullied:
1. Disconnects from people and isolates themselves
2. Physical problems such as headaches and stomachaches
3. Difficulty concentrating
4. Difficulty in falling asleep or staying asleep. Experiences frequent nightmares.
5. Seems listless, unenthusiastic, and disheartened in many aspects of life
6. Hyper-vigilant, extremely nervous, depressed or emotionally explosive

The effect of bullying:
1. 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC
2. 14% of high school students have considered suicide
3. 7% have attempted it
As you can see, bullying is a very serious problem.

Talk to your kids about what to do if they should be bullied and make sure you recognize changes in your child’s behavior that indicate they are being bullied.
Author Bio:
Jason Miner an expert freelance writer loves writing articles on different categories. He is approaching different bloggers to recognize each other’s efforts through “www.blogcarnival.com”. He can be contacted through e-mail at jasonminer8atgmaildotcom.

Keep Kids Safe on Internet- Protect Them From Cyberbullies

Friday, March 22nd, 2019

As the two dimensional world envelopes more and more of our lives, the ability to use the Internet wisely can hold the key to our, and our children’s success in life. There are over 2.4 billion people that use the Internet today-an increase of over 500 percent according to InternetWorldStats.com, and that number is going to continue to grow as the Internet becomes an increasingly central force in our lives, interactions, and commerce.

Like any life-changing technology, the information super highway can be used for as much good as it can bad, it’s up to the user to dictate how they spend their time, and teach and inspire others. The future might just depend on our ability to discern how we teach our children to spend their time online.

Make Sure There’s a Return on What You Learn

Unlike other major technological advancements, surfing the Internet doesn’t direct us towards progress on an individual level (the plow helps us cultivate food, factory machines directly produce products, etc…). Unlike the invention of the wheel, sitting in a chair and browsing Facebook for four hours doesn’t get us anywhere. It’s up to us to seek out useful information online and apply it to our lives instead of letting ourselves and our children waste time getting sucked into a vapid hole.

Instead of wasting time lusting after cars you can’t afford, or lamenting how thick your favorite celebrity’s hair is, the Internet can also be used just as easily to teach yourself a new language, or become an expert in bug collecting. Using this general rule of thumb – browsing is for improving skills to apply to life – is integral to teaching your little ones how to inspire themselves, build their abilities, and succeed in life.

The Dangers of Strangers

Unfortunately, the Internet is also a mecca for creative thieves and swindlers, and teaching your children about keeping themselves safe online is as important as teaching them not to get into a strangers car. Identity thieves know the best ways to target and extrapolate personal information from adults, but they’re becoming more and more focused on children. A child’s social security number is much less likely to have a history of bankruptcy and bad credit, and most of us never even think to check our toddler’s credit score- it’s the perfect storm.

As your children reach the age of Internet exploration, teaching them to keep their personal information secret, and showing them how to spot predators is an absolute must. In the mean time, checking out ID theft protection services doesn’t hurt either.

Don’t Be a Click-ler Stickler

Altruism is one of the distinct aspects that separates people from animals, and makes us awesome. The Internet has the ability to inflate our sense of altruism without actually accomplishing anything. How many times have you “clicked” on a petition or felt good about “liking” a page that wants to end world hunger? Unfortunately, clicking and liking doesn’t apply to much of anything in the real world. If we want our children to grow up to be the type of people that can change the world, then it’s imperative we drill them with the difference between action and sentiment, and make it clear that all the clicks and likes in the world won’t clean up an oil spill or fix the ozone.

Parents, it is up to us to set the stage for the future of the world, and teaching our kids how to use the Internet and protect themselves from its dangers is, perhaps, the best way to prepare them to move mountains, save rain-forests, and keep themselves and their future families safe.

Protect your children from being bullied online. Information on how text bullying works. http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Protect your children from being bullied online. Information on how text bullying works. http://www.ArtichokePress.com

How To Protect Your Child From Cyber Bullying Using Mobile Monitoring Applications?

Monday, August 20th, 2012

How To Protect Your Child From Cyber Bullying Using Mobile Monitoring Applications?

Mobile usage is increasing day by day and it has become an indispensable device. The additional uses of a mobile phone as a camera, a music player, a laptop to access mails and internet has resulted in its widespread usage. Children too have not been spared from being bitten by the mobile phone bug. The benefits are far surpassed by the crimes associated with children using mobile phones.

Cyber bullying is rampant in the cyber world.

Children unknowingly fall victims to such abuse through visiting prohibited sites and social networking sites. There have been many instances where children were lured through answering missed calls from unknown numbers and subjected to sexual harassment.

Hence, it is important for parents to protect their children from becoming victims of cyber abuse. This can be achieved by installing mobile monitoring applications like Mobile Spy on your child’s phone.

Software easy to install to protect your child

It is very easy to install such software on your child’s phone. Once installed, the data from the mobile phone is uploaded to your user account, which is created at the time of purchasing the monitoring application. All activities of the phone can then be viewed remotely through the user account. Some of the monitoring application features that help to protect your child from cyber abuse are:

Text bullying is a concern for many kids and their parents. Learn to monitor electronic devices your kids use and facts about internet safety.

  • Monitoring the call history: The monitoring application records details of all incoming and outgoing calls. The time and duration along with the numbers are also recorded. By reviewing the call log, the parent can know the child’s contacts, whether they are good or bad.
  • Call recording: most of the monitoring applications have the call recording facility whereby you can actually listen to the conversation. Even if the child is scared to report the abuse, it is easy to track the caller and nail him with proof of the conversation.
  • Internet History: A record of all the websites visited by the child can be known. The entire web history is recorded even if the child erases the history on the mobile. It is thus possible to know if the child has viewed any inappropriate material.
  • Record of chats and IM messages: With the help of the monitoring spyware, you can view the full contents of the chat windows and SMS messages. By keeping a tab on chats, it is easy to monitor contacts with strangers who may turn out to be pedophiles.
  • E mail log: A detail of every email that has been sent or received through the target mobile phone is recorded, despite the child deleting the messages. You can monitor the child and his contact by reviewing the mail contents.
  • GPS tracking: With this device, it is easy to locate your child. In the unfortunate event of kidnapping or the child getting lost, the GPS device will come to the rescue.
  • Video and Picture log: A parent can view all the photos and videos on the child’s phone. There may be instances when the child may be blackmailed through pornographic content like nude photos or bathroom videos. The abuser would demand undue favors from the child by threatening to expose them on the web. Any child would be scared to report such abuse and give in to the demands. Installation of the software protects the child by exposing such criminals.

This is a guest post from my friend and colleague Sharon Stouffer.  She shares my concerns about finding help for children who are being cyber-bullied.   Her contact information is below.  Please be sure to claim your free report on resources for parents and teachers.  You will find it at CyberBullyingHelp.com

Sharon Stouffer is passionate about Mobile Technology and Applications. Please visit her website about Cell Phone Spy software to follow her updates.

5 Parenting Tips If Your Child Is The Bully

Monday, July 9th, 2012

Bullying, cyberbullying and online harassment have been in the news lately.  It is horrible when your child is bullied or taken advantage of in any power struggle.  But, what do parents do if they find out that their child is the bully?

Sometimes physically bullying is a matter of who is pushing who when the principal walks around the corner.  Sometimes a child doesn’t recognize his own strength or is protecting himself from verbal abuse.  And sometimes, your child can be filled with anger, resentment and rage and take it out on others.

Online Cruelty

Growing up is hard to do, especially this day in age when technology rules the schools. It is much easier now than it was years ago with phones, online messaging, texting and multiple social media platforms for mean kids to become meaner kids

But what about that moment when you get a phone call or hear from another parent that your child may have been bullying another child. How do you react and what do you say to the other parent as well as to your own child?

What do you do as a parent? Here are a few ways to handle that situation:

  1. Sit down with your child and talk: First things first, you need to make time to sit down with your child and have a long and serious discussion. Before you place blame or punishment, you want to get answers. There is a reason your child is upset and picking on another student. It could be many different reasons, like they are being bullied themselves, they are unhappy at home or school, and they are having learning difficulties or trouble making friends.
  2. Ask the right questions: Here is a list of questions you want to ask your child so you can find the root of the problem. When you ask be sure that you are calm, warm but also firm. Do not ‘attack’ your child with these questions but simply try to make it a conversation. You want them to feel comfortable and open to sharing with you:
  • How is school going? Are your courses interesting?
  • How are you friends?
  • Are you upset with anything at home?
  • Are your friends at school being nice to you?

 

  1. Explain bullying and empathy: Explaining to your child what bullying is and what it does to people is very important. Some kids bully because they simply don’t understand that their words and actions have consequences. Explain why it hurts people and why it is not fair and that some consequences can be severe if you bully.

 

  1. Get them help: There are several ways to get your child help. Seeing a school counselor or family counselor can help your child express their feelings that they are taking out on other children. It is key that they are able to talk to someone that is not in their family. An outside perspective and professional can help your child deal with issues they may be experiencing inside.

 

  1. Get them active: Some children bully out of boredom or because they have no way of expressing themselves. Try getting them involved with team sports, music lessons or something artistic. A child that has something planned each with that offers instruction and a chance to express themselves is therapeutic. Also another activity to help your child understand bullying is to have them volunteer for those less fortunate. Think about signing them up for a soup kitchen, there are plenty of ways for children to get involved.

Ultimately how you handle this situation is up to you and your parenting style and whatever that is your child needs to know the harm that bullying can cause on everyone involved. If you need help, talk to your child’s school for guidance. Remember that your child is most likely doing this for a reason, correct that problem with love and understanding.

Author Bio

This Guest post is by Christine Kane, a graduate of Communication and Journalism. She enjoys writing about a wide-variety of subjects including internet provider for different blogs. She can be reached via email at: Christi.Kane00 @ gmail.com.

Optimistic Future for New Thinkers

Thursday, June 23rd, 2011

New thinkers, look to an optimistic viewpoint and future.

Look at the situations in your life and make decisions about changing your attitude or dealing with it, if you can’t change the situation.  Start by throwing out the “should” and replace with “prefer” and “choose.”

Perhaps like my client, you tend to say and think “I should look for another job that allows me to utilize my talents” Vague statements just bring about guilt rather than results. When should words are used, change is probably not going to happen because it involves no action, just a meaningless wish. However, contrast this statement; “I prefer to work in an industry where I can be creative. I will make a list of what I want and then look for a position that fits most of the criteria.”

Or; “This job is not fulfilling my passion and so rather than be discouraged, I choose to do it quickly and accurately and with a better attitude. As I choose to be more positive about the parts of the work I do enjoy, more and more opportunities will be opened to me.”

Blaming others or circumstances will keep you frozen and static. Staying in a comfort zone, no matter how painful you might think it is, will never result in growth and the results you want and deserve.

Be optimistic about the future.  You are a smart person and have succeeded at many things in the past and will again in the future.

I have confidence in you

You have been drawn to book because you know that you want to improve your life and find better solutions than in the past.  You want to learn new techniques and tips to help you have the good life you deserve.



Subscribe to our channel to see all of our great videos.

How to Help Teens Bounce Back From Disappointment

Monday, May 9th, 2011

Being bullied for looking different can lead to teen depression. Is it depression or teenage drama?

Is your teen disappointed or depressed? Help them bounce back.

If you are a parent of a teenager, this scene described by a client is very familiar.

“Ashley, 14, is so moody it is hard to decide if she is depressed or just a teenager. Her best friend moved away last year and then she did not make the cut for the volley ball team. We knew she was disappointed, but we all face disappointments in life, don’t we?

She sulks when I ask her to help fix dinner, she sleeps a lot more than she used to, and when she is working on the computer she has tears running down her cheeks. Yet, when we ask her what is wrong, she just shrugs her shoulders or tells us to mind our own business.”

Depression, Disappointment or Just Being A Teen?

Some teens, and especially sensitive ones, have a great deal of trouble bouncing back from disappointment. A lack of resilience or over-reacting are subtle signs of depression that many parents write off as stress or typical teenage drama.

Many teens and parents don’t realize the signs of teenage depression, especially in the early stages. Signs include:

• Sadness or hopelessness
• Irritability, anger, or hostility
• Tearfulness or frequent crying
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Loss of interest in activities
• Changes in eating and sleeping habits
• Restlessness and agitation
• Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
• Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
• Fatigue or lack of energy
• Difficulty concentrating
• Thoughts of death or suicide

FaceBook Depression

Although the symptoms may be similar to offline depression, when teens such as Ashley see her old friends and the girls who did make the team post what fun they are having, it is like sitting alone in the school cafeteria.

Because social media is so much a part of teen age life now, parents forget that this is a new playground. The politics are harsh and it makes it makes it very clear on the counter who has the most friends.

Among the potential harms are cyberbullying, social anxiety, severe isolation and deepening depression.

Warning to Parents

Although teens are dramatic by nature, trust your gut if your teen is losing the ability to bounce back from adversity. If their reaction, or lack of reaction, seems way out of character for your teen, seek medical advice.

The longer a depressed teen goes without seeing a doctor or therapist, the deeper they can dig themselves into a black hole. It will be easier to dig themselves out and find coping skills if they are giving tools and techniques early.

As a life educator I have seen individuals and especially teens get amazing relief from EFT (emotional freedom techniques). It is very easy to use the calming methods by yourself and does not require extensive counseling, which many teens refuse because of the stigma attached by unkind people.

Self Awareness Quiz

1. Does your teen show any of the symptoms of depression?
2. Have you suggested family counseling?
3. Will you (or your teen) check out Emotional Freedom Technique?

© Judy Helm Wright, life educator and empowerment coach. You have permission to use this article in your blog or online magazine, but please keep content and contact information intact. http://www.judyhwright.com