Taunting, Teasing and Traumatic Bullying
Taunting, Teasing and Traumatic
Thousands of children go to school every day full of fear.
They are the targets of bullies whose intended goal is to make their lives miserable. Whether the bullying consists of mental abuse like taunting and teasing or more outwardly acts of physical abuse, most bullies like to have an audience for their ruthless activities.
Their misery and loss of self esteem is often further compounded by the bystander bully, a witness who does nothing to intervene.
Many children are afraid to go to school because of teasing, taunting and bullying.
Without realizing it, those who idly watch can become victims themselves.
Bystander and Witness to The Crime
Whether or not they actually support and encourage the events or simply watch, the bystanders and witnesses are participants.
In many cases, the participation is involuntary and they can become victims too.
Bystanders can make a significant difference in exposing and stopping aggressive acts. However, children will understandably have real fears about interfering with bullies. They might be afraid of embarrassment in front of their peers or of being alienated from social groups. Of course, they may have a good reason to dread becoming a target themselves.
Bystanders Who Do Not Speak Up
As a result, those who witness trauma can suffer as much as the obvious victim from similar anxieties, depression and mental anguish. They will frequent want to be able to stop what is going on, but lack the skills or courage to do so.
They can develop overwhelming guilt and stress from not taking action to end something they know is wrong. It is not unusual to see this stress manifest itself in physical disorders like ulcers or chronic headaches.
Anti Bullying Programs Teach Skills
For this reason, children need be taught and empowered to become involved in stopping these types of actions. They should be instructed in ways they can quietly notify adults to expose those who engage in abusive behavior. They need to know that their best course of action is to seek out someone who can stop the physical and emotional pain.
The whole school, church or organization needs to adopt a policy of respect for all. Empathy is a character trait that should be modeled and taught by adults. Positive social skills need to be encouraged in order for them to become automatic action and a habit for life.
Regardless of whether a student joins in or simply observes, they are involved nonetheless. The bystander bully not only perpetuates unacceptable behavior, but can run the risk of unwittingly being added to the list of those who are abused.
Questions To Think About
- 1. Have you ever been a witness to someone bullying someone else and not spoken up because you were afraid?
- 2. Later when you had a chance to reflect on the situation, did you wish you had done something to help the victim?
- 3. What would you do if you saw a friend being bullied?
- 4. What would you do if it was a stranger?
- 5. Do you know that if you show signs of compassion or assistance for the victim, the trauma is lessened?
It is not easy to step up when someone is being bullied, but wouldn’t you want someone to come to your assistance if you were being hurt?
You can do it. I have confidence in you.
