Teasing or Bullying- DoTeachers and Parents Know the Difference
Teasing or Bullying- Teachers and Parents Need to Know the Difference
“He tripped me and I fell and hurt my knee.” “She won’t play with me and told the other girls to ignore me.” “Someone wrote in my book and now I have to pay for it.” “How could someone who said they were my friend write such a hateful message on FaceBook about me?”
Should Adults Butt In?
Problem solving is a major part of maturity. If adults, no matter how well-meaning, jump in too soon to intervene youth will never learn to solve their own problems.
Some conflicts are part of the normal process of growing up, just needing a little guidance to change their behavior. If it is bullying or deliberately hurtful or cruel, then adults need to teach empathy. If these acts are a part of emotional or developmental problems which are happening in a pattern, then a red flag may go up.
Teachers, parents, school administrators will soon recognize which incidences and individuals require guidance from a professional trained in dealing with these issues.
Small Problem or Big Problem
Teachers and parents need to know when to step in and solve a problem with bullies and when to let the child problem solve for themself.
If the problem or situation is something the child can solve by making a choice from the following list, then it is a small problem. This list is compiled from Kelso choices.
- Choose another game
- Share and take turns
- Talk it out
- Walk away
- Ignore it
- Tell them to stop
- Apologize
- Make a deal
- Wait and cool off
If it is a serious conflict or is a matter of safety, it is always a big problem. In solving big problems, adults need to mentor and teach problem solving skills to the young people.
Anti Bullying Programs
School teachers and administrators globally need to be trained to recognize the difference between normal teasing, joking and jockeying for position in a group and cruel bullying.
Educators, Administrators, Parents and students will need to band together, and commit to turning schools into communities where kindness and consideration are as important as reading and writing.
Tolerance for others and the desire to respect the unique traits of every person as an individual is the ultimate goal for all in this community.
Respect For Others
Teaching problem solving and respect does not mean no more teasing and rough housing allowed. It means that all adults who have contact with young people need to model and mentor kindness and forgiveness.
Teaching children about being a part of a community and protecting and standing up for other members of the team or group, is just one way to challenge abusive and mistreatment of others.
Children need to learn to be kind to people which goes a long way to making up a society where we all respect each others humanity and work together for the greater good of every person.
You can do it, I have confidence in you. You will want to claim your free copy of “Help, My Kid is Being Bullied.”
August 15th, 2010 at 10:53 pm
Unfortunately, when the “small” issues become habitual amongst a few students, it becomes a big problem, and schools, teachers, and admins aren’t as willing to recognize that. The attitude seems to be “kids will be kids.”
August 15th, 2010 at 11:26 pm
Hello Judy. I am a new children’s book author. My book Revenge of the Dorkoids follow the adventures of 3 boys who are being bullied. I am building my anti-bullying network and would like to form a connection.
Dorkoids releases in October, and I am still collecting professionals to read it and hopefully recommend it. May I add you to my list of people I am sending an Advance Reader Copy to? It is a quick read at 134 pages including illustrations.
The anti bullying interest comes from Aaron- the main character who
has 2 friends who stick with him in-spite of getting bullied too
builds bonds with his whole class who then indirectly intervene in a bullying episode
has supportive parents and a sister who helps him
It is a fun to read book that provides a chance to discuss this important topic without assigning a Bullying book that might not interest all readers.
I hope to hear back from you. Holly Beck