Talk To Your 14 YO Daughter About Cyberbullys Now
Welcome to our community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all:
If you are the parent of a 14 year old girl, bless you. This is a stage and age of drama, drama, drama. They often use a loud voice and tears to get attention and make sure they are heard and seen. They want to be part of the “in group.” They want to fit in and have a fear of being out of synch with friends and the popular girls. If this includes bashing someone on Facebook or Twitter, so be it. They would never consider themselves as cyberbullys, but many are.
Sometimes girls at this age have difficulty listening to parents, especially moms. Girls get into arguments with their parents again, especially mothers, over curfews and friends. There are also lots of squabbles over homework, clothes and helping around the house. Girls of fourteen love to complain about their parents online to their friends and friends of friends and friends of friends.
Ramifications On Online Posts
Because they lack the control of more mature girls, they may say and do things online that they later regret. They do not have the experience to recognize the long lasting effects of posting hurtful and hateful things online. One young girl I know was angry with her mom because she was not allowed to go to a party. Ten years ago, there would have been tears, pleading, doors slamming and ultimate forgiveness on everyone’s part.
Instead, this girl went to her room where her computer was (bad,bad idea…keep all computers in an area where there is a chance of an adult walking by) and posted a slam on her mother’s Facebook account. She was so angry at her mom that she posted that her mother hit her and abused the kids who were in her daycare. This was a lie and almost got her mother turned over to authorities.
Think and Pause Before Hitting Send
Even though it is hard to talk to your 14 year old daughter about cyberbullying and online posting, it is imperative that she understand what might happen when you hit send too soon.
In face to face interactions, you can gauge the reaction and modify your remarks, but online it is anonymous. Once a post is online it is out there forever and ever. Help your daughter to understand that her quick posts and blasts may be hurting others needlessly. Help her to see that she could easily become a cyberbully and that is not the kind of reputation she or you want.
I have confidence in you.
Your friend, Judy H. Wright
14 year old girls are very interested in interpersonal relationships. They may not be aware of dangers online.
Tags: cell phone use, making friends, mean girls, texting teens, Wannabees
